Flavia
Journeyman
Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 65
Loc: Baja Oklahoma
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Are most of ya'll in a good mood? You seem to be. Are you really in a good mood, OR are you faking it? I don't feel good. I'm tired, and I hardly move. I don't want to get up in the morning. I tend to cry for my mother. I get irritated when I have to tend to the business, taxes, insurance, problems. No one else wants to. This anti-
dep that I take is doing NO good.
Where do you get the good attitudes I see on this BB?
I'm still lying in the ditch hurting. Flavia
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In this day and age, you need a crutch to get through life. If you don't, you are dead, in a
coma or seriously mentally impaired.
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mikevx
Board Addict
Reged: 02/06/04
Posts: 372
Loc: LV-426
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I'm very sorry you are hurting friend.
I think many here are in a good mood because of the medications they are taking, and some have the right ones that work for them if they feel anxiety or depression. Plus for some, this is kind of like a release. Away from the real world and can just let loose and not worry about the normal worries. But away from being online, still hurt. Not really 'faking', just forgetting, temporarily.
For me, tramadol seems to help with anxiety and depression. I discovered this by accident as I originally got it for pain. Tried prozac and it does nothing. But, we are each different so we have to find what works best for us.
Maybe order small orders of various things to see what works best for you. Or maybe someone will come up with a better idea.
Best of luck to you. Stay positive and hang in there. k  You are not alone.
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"cowards die many deaths, the brave only one"
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lemongrass
Board Addict
Reged: 09/24/03
Posts: 363
Loc: IL
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I'm sorry for you, too, Flavia. I'm not faking my good moods. If I'm in a bad mood, I try to tenderly let people know it. Sometimes I'm an outright b!tch to live with. But when I come to DB, I like to get out of that funk and try to get some pleasure, despite my pain and agony or any other things that may be affecting my life negatively. This is my temporary escape and it helps keep my sanity.
I sure hope that you are able to find anther medication that may be better for you. I also hope that you can pick yourself up, dust off, and feel better again! My heart goes out to you.
Please keep us informed on how you're doing. Wishing you only the very best.
lemongrass
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mermaid72000
Member
Reged: 01/20/04
Posts: 125
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hi flavia hope you are feeling better. my moods are always going in one way or the other. at least for me the less medicine i take the better off i feel. i am on a low dose of klonopin soon to be tapered if necessary and i think the joking around an some lighthearted banter you see on the board are people who relate to each other and what they are going thru. if i told my family what i was going thru i would hit a block wall. three would be no understanding. here on this community people know first hand what you are feeling becuz they have been there and done that. when you feel like you are dying inside and people are having what seems to be a good time we want to know how they got there, is is meds, is it lifestyle, is it personal belief. i am at the crossroads myself and i have many major issues to deal with and the most i can ever handle is one days problems at a time. i try to stay focused on what is happening now and not about the problem i have to deal with next week. this is just my experience.
carol
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turcica
seeker
Reged: 12/22/03
Posts: 322
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Hi flavia! I'm sorry you feel the way you do. As for me personally, I feel terrible in the morning, shoulders and back hurt. Sometimes don't want to get out of bed. If I loose my mouthgard at night my jaw hurts too from grinding. I cry at commercials and sometimes just thinking about things. You are not alone my friend. When I come to the board I get so involved with reading and responding that I am not as aware of how I feel.The days of my youth are gone and I accept that. Years of lifting, pulling, pushing, standing for hours without a break and overworked days have taken their toll. Not to mention the falls and accidents which added to the pain. As for being upbeat, I guess I try to keep a positive outlook which helps my mood. I do have my moments though but try to keep them at bay. I hope it helps to know you are not alone in how you feel. turcica 
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turcica
The only failure is not knowing how to be happy
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catmom
Board Addict
Reged: 06/20/03
Posts: 332
Loc: Midwest
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I, too, am sorry you are hurting. I myself get depressed pretty frequently but tramadol has helped a little with that. I live alone with my fur kids & sometimes I feel kind of isolated. The boards (here & VIP) really help with that. You are not alone!! 
Catmom
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"God, please help me to be the person my DOG thinks I already am."
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rainydays
Newbie
Reged: 01/29/04
Posts: 43
Loc: midwest
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Flavia...I think that there are alot of us here that have had our times of severe depression where it seems that no matter what, nothing can make you happy...i know i have..
i started taking effexor 150 a year ago and i cant express how much it has helped my moods...i lived most of my life in a fog of depression but always thought it was normal to feel like that until i got out into society enough to learn that it isnt normal and that there were meds for it...i was on several different meds and they really never helped although i tried to make my mind believe they did....finally i started the effexor 150 and i thought it was going to be the same as all the others because it never helped at first...about 3 months into it, i started noticing the change in my moods and another 2 months went by and i really felt the best i ever had in my life...although i still get bouts of depression due to circumstances in my life, it is nothing compared to what i was feeling.......my opinion would be for you to try the effexor and give it some time to really work...i dont know why it took that long for me to start feeling the full effects of it but everyone is different and it may start to work for you in a matter of weeks or even days...who knows until you try it...
Like everyone else here, just coming to DB does help...Just the mere fact that knowing i am are not alone in this world and that others have alot of the same problems really gives comfort to me....
Most people here really do care and can give you some wonderful advice or just lend an ear when you are feeling sad, lonley or helpless....
Take care and check in often here...it can help!
Rainy
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Flavia
Journeyman
Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 65
Loc: Baja Oklahoma
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I'm a cat mom too. For 33 years I have had cats in my household. As a kid I had them too. Now I have 7. These "children" are the only reason I get up in the morning. Lucy jumps in my lap and wants morning petting.
They come alive when I walk in the room. I give them grooming, petting, singing and dancing lessons, special treats and many kisses. I am living for my cats. Flavia
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In this day and age, you need a crutch to get through life. If you don't, you are dead, in a
coma or seriously mentally impaired.
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Flavia
Journeyman
Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 65
Loc: Baja Oklahoma
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I was never a depressed person until my mother died and the severe pain set in. I take Effexor, and it is horrid. Prozac helped for a little while, but it pooped out. I am going to ask to get off Effexor/this sweating and feeling ill is not normal for me. The muscle twitching has left my left thumb almost paralyzed. My hands are turning into claws. I sense that I am going downhill very fast, but there is nothing to grab onto. Thanks to everyone who sympathized - Flavia
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In this day and age, you need a crutch to get through life. If you don't, you are dead, in a
coma or seriously mentally impaired.
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CHEESE
Veteran
Reged: 01/02/02
Posts: 592
Loc: U.S.A.
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HELLO FLAVIA,I hope you find something (new medication, a new friend or even a activity) to help YOU FEEL BETTER.If you ever need anyone to talk too or have a question?? feel free to PM me ANYTIME! (I have 2 cats too! a persian and a siam. cat / narra & sammy ) I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY? JOHN/ CHEESE 
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sigmund
Member
Reged: 07/29/03
Posts: 181
Loc: Vienna
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Flavia,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're still down after suffering so many losses last year. It sounds like you're still going through the mourning process People always appear happier on the outside when you're feeling bad inside. Your metaphor of "lying in a ditch hurting" makes me weep, not being so happy either. Please try to find activities, people, and your animals to get you through this. The one thing this board is missing is a Support & Help forum like the VIP...I suggested one above. In the meantime, please feel free to pm me for a cyber-shoulder, to vent or whatever you need.
Take good care 
sigmund (formerly anna022, 22)
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how can you tell the Dreamer from the one who dreams the dream?
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jmayeux79
Member
Reged: 03/02/04
Posts: 101
Loc: Louisiana
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Hi Flavia,
I wouldn't say I am one of the happy DBers on here, especially after this week. Lately I've been scared to be alone. Getting up in the morning is something I dread. I hate crying every time I drop my husband off at work...when Im depressed the way I have been, I am so lonely when he works and Im off from school. School hasn't been that great either unfortunately. The only thing that keeps me going is my baby son, a couple of concerned friends at school and my online activities (this board for one.) I could go on about my problems, but I won't do that right now. All I can say is remember whatever it is that keeps you going....a loved one, a hobby, or whatever it is that gives you happiness. Also I've been on TONS of various meds for my depression....many with awful side effects. I am currently in the process of talking to my Dr about Wellbutrin, which I hear great things about. A med change may be part of the problem because I know for me, certain meds didn't help at all, or even made the problem worse. The best course of action that worked for me out of everything was this: I got fed up. I mean really sick and tired of being so miserable. When I got to that point I felt disgusted and I thought: if this is all mental, than maybe I can outsmart this with my head. I weaned myself off and I threw away the Depekote and Prozac I had been prescribed and was finally in a mind set that allowed me to use my mind to fight this. Keep in mind it took a personal revelation and major misery to effectively fight this on my own using positive thinking. This lasted for two years. I wish I could say that I never had to worry about it again. Unfortunately, as of now I have slumped back in the depression. There are times when meds are needed to help, and for me now is that time. This may be the same for you. But I do hope that maybe one day a personal revelation of this sort could help change your mind set and change your life. I have to admit, even though I am going through depression now, I am ten times a stronger person than I used to be since I had that revelation and I think meds will be even more effective for me because my mind is stronger. Just don't give up, and fight it! I wish you all the best in the world and feel free to PM if you would like to talk.
Jackie
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Flavia
Journeyman
Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 65
Loc: Baja Oklahoma
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"...about 3 months into it, i started noticing the change in my moods..."
Rainy,
I was re-reading your answer to me, and I missed this important point. I haven't been taking Effexor but 2 months - I hope I am in for a happy surprise. How did you feel, and how did you know it was the Effexor making you less moody? Flavia
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In this day and age, you need a crutch to get through life. If you don't, you are dead, in a
coma or seriously mentally impaired.
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LAF
Stranger
Reged: 02/12/04
Posts: 18
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Hi Flavia. Hope you are doing better. I have been on Paxil for 3 years to help with my depression. It has helped me greatly and I feel better about myself and keep a positive attitude with it. Hope what you find works. Keep the faith.
LAF
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rainydays
Newbie
Reged: 01/29/04
Posts: 43
Loc: midwest
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Flavia...im not really sure how i know it was the effexor that changed my moods but there was nothing else in my life that had a change so i knew it wasnt life circumtances that changed my moods.... i also had a problem with OCD (obsesive compulsive disorder) of having to clean my house non stop every day...i had this problem my whole life and it contrlled my life and made everyone around me very uncomfortable....i could never sit down and relax without feeling as though there was some cleaning that needed to be done...it was horrible! then about the 3rd month into the effexor, i started to notice that i could sit down at night and actually relax without thinking what needed to be cleaned...i had never experienced that and it felt wonderful...i also noticed my moods were better...and from the 3rd month on, my moods kept improving more and more... and i now look back to how i used to feel and how i feel now..i know the effexor is what helped!!! i dont ever want to live without it! the bad part for me is that i dont have insurance and it is very expensive... $108.00 for 30 days...
and i am now going through a seperation with my husband after 13 yrs and 4 children and have absolutley no income as i have always been able to be a stay at home mom...i really dont know what i will do to continue getting my effexor but i do know that i cannot live without it...i just wish it wasnt so darn expensive! anyways, i do know by reasearching effexor and other anti depressants that it does take alot of time for it to work properly (sometime up to 6 months) so please hang in there, you are almost there and should start to feel the effects of it...another thing i found important is that taking it at the same time every day makes a big difference...i dont know why but i have noticed that when i forget to take it mt moods are not as good as they should be and my ocd starts to set in a bit.. i hope this helps you and if you have anymore questions please dont hesitate to ask...i would love to chat with you about it! take care Rainy
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Flavia
Journeyman
Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 65
Loc: Baja Oklahoma
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You can't possibly know how helpful you have been to me. As I said before, I never had been depressed until all the deaths in my family. At some point, I think I can get off this stuff. Unless I have changed my brain function permanently....have I??
I noticed that the time of day that I took Effexor was very important. It does not last a full 24 hours. The last 4 hours are downhill - like a withdrawal. I finally figured out the best time to take it - so that the withdrawal occurs in the middle of the night, and the kick-in starts when I get up in the morning. But even so, I felt terrible in the mornings, and I'd cry for no particular reason - once at the doctor's.
There is nothing psychologically wrong with me other than a depression which is the result of the events in 2003. I believe that being irritable is a normal consequence of having CP. Many of the symptoms of depression overlap with the symptoms of CP. Fatigue, feelings of hopelessness, eating more or less, etc. So, I am going to hang in there with Effexor for a while longer. Let's give it a chance.
BUT, I must say that Prozac acted within one hour. Hmmm.
Flavia
Thank you for talking with me.
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In this day and age, you need a crutch to get through life. If you don't, you are dead, in a
coma or seriously mentally impaired.
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kittie74
Board Addict
Reged: 02/17/04
Posts: 310
Loc: Hollywood
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Flavia
Dealing with the death of a loved one and CP is really difficult. Do you have counseling available? Can you afford it? There are usually places available that work on a sliding scale if money is tight. There are also support groups for people who have experienced a loss. Medication can help, but it's really important to talk about what you've been through with a professional. I also think you have to be careful with anti-depressants. Have they been prescribed by a doctor? Or are you choosing them yourself?
I'm not a professional, but I know what it's like to go through what you're going through. Reaching out and asking for help is the first step. If this the is first place you've started, then that's a good step.
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tone
Veteran
Reged: 06/29/03
Posts: 729
Loc: Chicago
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Tramadol Hydrochloride
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elizalee
Newbie
Reged: 12/02/02
Posts: 36
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Quote:
.i know the effexor is what helped!!! i dont ever want to live without it! the bad part for me is that i dont have insurance and it is very expensive... $108.00 for 30 days...
and i am now going through a seperation with my husband after 13 yrs and 4 children and have absolutley no income as i have always been able to be a stay at home mom...i really dont know what i will do to continue getting my effexor but i do know that i cannot live without it...i just wish it wasnt so darn expensive!
Rainy ~
I also suffer from depression and know exactly how you feel about needing your medication. I am self employed and pay an astronomical $1100. per month  for health insurance that will cover my medications (Wellbutrin XL 300). It's not just my medications that I need the insurance for....I have 2-1/2 year old twins, too....or I'd just drop the coverage and pay the $180. per month for my antidepressants.
Elizalee
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lemongrass
Board Addict
Reged: 09/24/03
Posts: 363
Loc: IL
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That's awful generous of you, elizalee. See how many wonderful people there are here?
But I also know that there is a way to get help for medications that people can't afford. You can ask your doctor or pharmacy about it and they will further direct you. I believe it comes directly from the drug manufacturer and you won't have to worry yourself. I wish I knew the name of the place so you could get the information ASAP, but why don't you call your doctor's office today and inquire about it? Tell him/her that you heard about being eligible for free meds from the manufacturers' to those who qualify and would like more information.
I do hope this helps you a great deal. Good luck with everything and best to you!
lemongrass
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rainydays
Newbie
Reged: 01/29/04
Posts: 43
Loc: midwest
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Lemongrass, You are so right, There are sooooo many wonderful people here! I have said this before and want to say it again,... I have never ever in my life found such a group of caring people like i have found here!
I have had 3 people contact me since my thread posted to send me some effexor and one of those people even offered me $108.00 for a months supply...To say the least, I am so overwhelmed with having complete strangers offer their help to me!!!I cannot begin to thank you all for this! There just are not enough words to express my graditude! What can I say??? OMG, I am so very thankful to all of you!
I had to go back and read my post several times hoping that it didnt sound like i was trying to get people to feel sorry for me! I really never intended to sound needy..I was trying to express to the importance of how much the effexor has changed my life and wanted to let you all know that at this time of my life, i am going through a really tough time and that even more so i rely on my daily dose of effexor and how much it can help!
God, I am so emabarassed by the words in my post so, please please dont think i was trying to have pity on myself to have you all send me help! I had no intentions of this! I just cant seem to express this enough. I have never in my life accepted charity and like I have told many of you that I have always been one to give, and now I can see true reality, The true meaning of life..." WHAT YOU GIVE IN LIFE IS WHAT YOU GET BACK"--- WHAT COMES AROUND, GOES AROUND" This is so very very true!!! I have also told a few of you that this generosity reminds me of the song called" Dont let the chain of love end with you"..I think that is the title of the song and i cant remember who sings it....I have all the words of it in my head right now and i really believe that i am being given a lesson from God right now and am to pass this lesson along to everyone that i know.
TO ALL OF YOU, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS! YOU ALL ARE SO GREAT!
LOVE, RAINY
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elizalee
Newbie
Reged: 12/02/02
Posts: 36
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Rainy ~
I do think that there are some programs out there for those who are in need of medications and can't afford them although, if you're like me, I don't qualify. Funny how you can be in real financial need but the powers that be determine that you are doing fine. We are being forced into bankruptcy, partly because of the high cost of medical insurance.  The meds that I'm sending you were free samples from my doctor. Perhaps you could explain your situation to your doc and they would give you a month or two worth of samples? If I come across any more, I'll be sure to let you know. Oh, btw, you did not at all come across as needy!! I full well understood the intention of your post. And even if you did come across as "needy" - so what? Sounds like you could use a hand right now and we've all "been there-done that".
I got your PM and will send it out in tomorrow's mail.
Elizalee
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Sweetz
Diamond Mind
Reged: 05/11/02
Posts: 896
Loc: Texas!
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Rainyday,
I got my Depakote and Effexor straight from the pharmaceutical companies for a while when I was unemployed. They all have different requirements. Two sites that have the forms available are: www.rxhope.com and www.needymeds.com. the last one didn't used to have the forms, you had to call then get the forms, but I think they have them available now. You just fill out the form, take it to your doc and they do their part and then mail it to the company. It takes anywhere from 4-8 weeks, so you better get jumpin'!!!
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lonestar56
Stranger
Reged: 01/31/03
Posts: 20
Loc: Texas
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Flavia,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. Mine is different, but I did find something that had the positive side effect of putting me in a good mood most of the time. I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. My doctor put me on series of SSRI's for daily use and Xanax for accute attacks, and will share my experience. I first went on Paxil. It really helped with the anxiety day to day, but sex life went down hill and I started gaining weight. We next tried Zoloft, not as effective but lost the weight but still hurt the labido. We next tried Celexa, not nearly as effective as the Paxil, and still killed the labido. We then tried a non SSRI, Wellbutrin, this made my anxiety worse and I started taking more Xanax which is not good. Right after the Christmas holidays he put me on Lexapro. Helped tremendously with anxiety, no weight gain, sex life improved, and as I realized later, I was always in a better mood. I have not tried the Effexor as some have mentioned and that may work well, but I can attest to the effect Lexapro has had on me. But as any physician will tell you, different people will have different respond differently to all these medication. Good luck, and I hope you find something that will work well for you.
Lonestar56
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rainydays
Newbie
Reged: 01/29/04
Posts: 43
Loc: midwest
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Thanks for that info Sweetz! I appreciate it!
Rainy
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yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
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I'm a little late for this thread, but I have 799 posts and want to hit 800 heh.
Anyway, it's really nice to be in the company (albeit virtual company) of like-minded people. IRL, so many people look down at you because of the meds you need to survive. It's very comforting to be here...sometimes...and I think that's what puts people in a good mood.
Now let's see if my title changes when I hit post 800.
-yawkaw
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MAXICAT
Journeyman
Reged: 12/14/03
Posts: 73
Loc: TEXAS
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It is very comforting to be in the company of people who are in the same situations as we are. I always feel better getting on the site. Sometimes I can't stay on for too long, but it always helps!
And, congrats on 800 yawkaw, that's a LOT of posts!!!!!
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