Hi Flavia,
I wouldn't say I am one of the happy DBers on here, especially after this week. Lately I've been scared to be alone. Getting up in the morning is something I dread. I hate crying every time I drop my husband off at work...when Im depressed the way I have been, I am so lonely when he works and Im off from school. School hasn't been that great either unfortunately. The only thing that keeps me going is my baby son, a couple of concerned friends at school and my online activities (this board for one.) I could go on about my problems, but I won't do that right now. All I can say is remember whatever it is that keeps you going....a loved one, a hobby, or whatever it is that gives you happiness. Also I've been on TONS of various meds for my depression....many with awful side effects. I am currently in the process of talking to my Dr about Wellbutrin, which I hear great things about. A med change may be part of the problem because I know for me, certain meds didn't help at all, or even made the problem worse. The best course of action that worked for me out of everything was this: I got fed up. I mean really sick and tired of being so miserable. When I got to that point I felt disgusted and I thought: if this is all mental, than maybe I can outsmart this with my head. I weaned myself off and I threw away the Depekote and Prozac I had been prescribed and was finally in a mind set that allowed me to use my mind to fight this. Keep in mind it took a personal revelation and major misery to effectively fight this on my own using positive thinking. This lasted for two years. I wish I could say that I never had to worry about it again. Unfortunately, as of now I have slumped back in the depression. There are times when meds are needed to help, and for me now is that time. This may be the same for you. But I do hope that maybe one day a personal revelation of this sort could help change your mind set and change your life. I have to admit, even though I am going through depression now, I am ten times a stronger person than I used to be since I had that revelation and I think meds will be even more effective for me because my mind is stronger. Just don't give up, and fight it! I wish you all the best in the world and feel free to PM if you would like to talk.

Jackie