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i am in no postion to judge been there twice and finally at 47 i got it. hard lesson to learn, alot of money spent, alot of classes, some jail time. i have always known i can not drink but always tried to push the envelope never won that one. my present husband has a drinking problem and he does not get it. he has been in prison, jail for stupid stuff nothing heavy, just dumb, well he has been out for almost a year and he does not drink everyday i guess you could call him a binge drinker, so instead of threating him i am leaving soon he will come home and i will be gone. i can not handle heavy drinking and the behavior that goes with it. the next day remorse and im sorry dont work for me at all. i can talk until i am blue in the face but until he understands he is out of control nothing can be done. if i were younger i would be thinking what am i doing to cause this drinking but i know its his problem and only he can begin to fix his own life. he is starting to get the fact that i will be leaving, becuz i feel me staying is helping him to continue his lil habit. i hold the house together, pay the bills, cook, clean etc and work full time too. at 47 this is the first relationship i have ever had where i have been with a heavy drinker and i am too old to babysit. he has not had a drivers license for 20 years and he can get one but that means 90 day diversion no drinking and i guess he cant handle it. i really love this man but i feel like me staying is enabling this man to continue his dirty deed. i do not want to leave but the drama has to end. there is no judgement here for what has happened to you only my experience into hell. i want something better for my life and maybe being alone is the answer at least for now. i was nothing nice when i was in my drinking mode and i still feel pretty guilty for all the drama i caused, but the key is to forgive yourself. it does not matter what others think it matters what is right for you.