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bargsbeer69
Journeyman
Reged: 03/22/04
Posts: 80
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I read about this story in the newspaper where I live in FL
And not to sound like a heart less individual I don't Hold any Sympathy for this.-
Jesse Shanahan Benedetti, 19, died after swallowing 72 hours' worth of a drug most often prescribed to cancer patients, fentanyl.
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ST. PETERSBURG - The night before Easter, Jesse Shanahan-Benedetti planned to dye eggs with his younger brother.
Instead, Benedetti went out with a friend and missed the family ritual.
He returned hours later, quietly apologized to his father, then went to bed.
"He went into his room and died," said his father, Jerry Benedetti, 56.
Police think that in the hours before his death, Benedetti, 19, purchased a skin patch that contained a narcotic painkiller more potent than morphine. Seeking a high, Benedetti sucked the gel out of the patch and swallowed 72 hours' worth of fentanyl, a time-release opioid, at once.
He went to sleep on April 10 and never woke up.
"Why he went in this direction is really beyond me because the kid was precious, awesome, amazing," his father said.
The death also is broadening police concerns over prescription drug abuse.
"That's kind of a new wrinkle on the drug scene," said St. Petersburg homicide Sgt. Mike Puetz.
The Pinellas-Pasco Medical Examiner says 16 people died from fentanyl abuse last year. In Hillsborough County last year, 10 fentanyl-related deaths were reported.
The patch is most often prescribed to cancer patients and is available only by prescription, prompting St. Petersburg homicide detectives to investigate how Benedetti got it.
"Anybody that provides illegal narcotics to somebody that results in the proximate cause of their death can be charged with their death," Puetz said.
Benedetti was a little kid when he first stepped in the ring at the 4th Street Boxing Club. Tan and weighing 70 pounds, he had sun-bleached hair that was short in front, long in back.
"He had a lot of skill," said James McLoughlin, the club owner who trained Benedetti for several years. "Jab, right hand. Left hook. He was a kid who could put everything together."
Most people who knew Benedetti said he had many talents.
He played youth and high school football. He was good with wood, helping his father refinish tables and bars at restaurants and clubs in the Tampa Bay area. He cooked a rich pasta sauce, chock-full of pork and beef and mushrooms.
"He would cook spaghetti and homemade pizza, and he wouldn't let anyone help him," said his best friend, Chris Rogalski, 19. "He would go crazy with his garlic."
The day Benedetti was born, his father rushed home from a construction job in Clearwater and picked up Darleen Shanahan, who was in labor. A few blocks from the hospital, they realized the video camera was at home. They turned around.
"He was going to have to hold on," Jerry Benedetti said.
Benedetti's parents split up when he was young, and he lived with his father in St. Petersburg.
When Benedetti was 16, he dropped out of Northeast High School, his father said. He started experimenting with drugs and was getting in trouble.
His father said he was puzzled by his son's turn because so many things seemed to come easily to him.
Mark Ferguson, owner of Ferg's Sports Bar & Grill, would see Benedetti when he came to the restaurant to refinish tables with his father.
"He was always a very nice, polite kid. Real good manners," Ferguson said. "I just remember him always being a real help to his father, carrying the tables out."
Over the past two months, Benedetti worked with his father, remodeling Leverock's restaurant on Madeira Beach.
His father said his son seemed like he was starting to settle down. He was staying home at night.
But the day before Easter, Benedetti stayed out until 10:30 p.m. with a childhood friend who was visiting from Michigan. He was supposed to dye eggs with his 6-year-old brother, Kyle.
Early Easter morning, Jerry Benedetti sent Kyle to wake him up for breakfast. Kyle thought his brother was playing a joke when he wouldn't open his eyes.
So their father went in. He called out his son's name. He picked up his arm, but it fell like a weight. He slapped his son's cheeks.
Nothing.
"My heart just dropped," Jerry Benedetti said. "It's a father's worst nightmare."
It is not uncommon for people to abuse the fentanyl patch, which has a $25 to $40 street value, experts say.
"People think they can get high on it," said Dr. Harvey A. Siegal, professor in the Department of Community Health at Wright State University School of Medicine in Ohio. "They'll squeeze out the gel. Some people will try to inject it or mix it and drink it down. There's no way to control the dosage, and consequently, you die of respiratory arrest. Your brain goes to sleep."
The pain patch, which has been available at least 10 years, is used to treat severe chronic pain. Over 72 hours, it releases the synthetic narcotic analgesic through the skin and into the bloodstream.
"It should never be used any other way than applied to the skin," said Cathie Lincoln, clinical pharmacist at St. Anthony's Hospital in St. Petersburg. "You should never punch holes in it because that's going to destroy the whole system of delivery."
While Benedetti tried different drugs in the past, his father said he does not believe his son had used the pain patch before to get high.
"I didn't know it was out there," Jerry Benedetti said. "He made a mistake. It was an accident."
St. Petersburg police detectives have labeled Benedetti's death suspicious. They are awaiting toxicology test results from the medical examiner, who is working on the cause and manner of death.
Puetz, the homicide sergeant, declined to discuss details of the investigation because it is ongoing.
But Puetz said that if police build a case through witnesses and toxicology, whoever supplied Benedetti with the patch can be charged.
Outside Benedetti's house, friends and relatives adorned his classic 1972 Lincoln Town Car with two dozen bouquets and baskets of carnations, roses and bird of paradise. His left boxing glove, covered with handwriting, sat on the hood.
"Jesse," his cousin, Tanya Short, scrawled on the glove. "You don't have to fight anymore."
- Times researcher Kitty Bennett contributed to this report.
-people like this are the one's that make it easier for
the Government Ban Legal OP's in the U.S.
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537
Veteran
Reged: 12/08/01
Posts: 749
Loc: west coast CA
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Oh, I'm almost moved to tears. As a mother, I am so scared of my children ever getting into drugs. It's such a waste of life. But now, this pain patch which has been a Godsend to so many pain and cancer patients is going to be put in front of the firing squad. That makes me so angry.
Last month, my sister had back surgery, and as a result ended up with unbearable headaches that wouldn't go away. She was taking 1 Percocet 5 mg every 6 hours because that is what the script bottle said to. She was watching the clock tick tock by, just so she would know when she could take another pill. I told her that was absolutely ridiculous. I told her to double up every four hours, just so she could get up to walk to the bathroom. Then I told her to call her doc and get something stronger. Thank God, he put her on the Fentanyl patch, and in 2 days she was functional again. She couldn't rave enough about it, because it worked so amazingly. And this is definantly not a woman out to get a high. When she was diagnosed with cancer, and had surgery and radiation treatment, she refused to take pain meds, because she hated the loopy feeling.
It is tragic that young people (listen to me, the sage at 28) do these insanely stupid things, but that is nature. We pray that as many as possible make it through and learn so that they can teach next generation not to do stupid things. But they're going to demonize this medication, and there will be one less tool for the chronic pain or terminal patient to use to fight for a better quality of life.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Hey folks. I am new to the group & joined it (surprise) b/c I'm having difficulty w/finding pain meds. Can't take any codeine based product--such as hydro (aka Vicodin). I have a degenerative cervical spine disorder & carpal/tarsal (hands and feet) tunnel syndrome. Let me say YU-U-U-U-Best if kept off the board! I've enjoyed looking around the site. If anyone has good suggestions for sources of better meds than codeine I'd be glad to hear it. Also, I am a professional in the psychopharmacological world--so may be able to help out if folks have wonderings about those types of meds!!! THANKS~
Edited by ladydociii (04/20/04 03:01 PM)
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keystone
Veteran
Reged: 09/05/02
Posts: 586
Loc: Arizona, USA
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Quote:
Hey folks. I am new to the group & joined it (surprise) b/c I'm having difficulty w/finding pain meds. Can't take any codeine based product--such as hydro (aka Vicodin). I have a degenerative cervical spine disorder & carpal/tarsal (hands and feet) tunnel syndrome. Let me say YU-U-U-U-Best if kept off the board! I've enjoyed looking around the site. If anyone has good suggestions for sources of better meds than codeine I'd be glad to hear it. Also, I am a professional in the psychopharmacological world--so may be able to help out if folks have wonderings about those types of meds!!! THANKS~
Firstly, hello to you too. Do you see what forum you are posting in, or what post you are replying to? A kid is dead and you ask anybody if they know where YOU can get pain meds? Surf the board and you'll get your answer. This probably isn't the best thread. Sorry, but c'mon...a boy is dead...and...changing thread's subject lines are confusing, just so you know.
Second- I think the article went a little over-board on the child's history. I pretty much got his life story. While this is tragic, it may not be prevented by tighter restrictions on pain meds. Fentanyl is already a CII, so it is HIGHLY restricted. This kid did not go out and swallow a few Vicodin (aka the name of EVERY pill containing a narcotic). How/why would someone even know to 'suck' the gel out of the patch? Where were the parents? What I mean is: who did he hang around with? Were his parents involved in his life or periodically search his room?
As a parent, I would and do these things as long as they live under my roof. Privacy is a big issue. I don't read letter, journals etc. but I do look around for drugs and get VERY involved in my son's friends (who they are, their backgrounds/homelifes etc...).
Did the parents of the child not notice his actions that night when he came home? Did they talk to him and ask what he did? NO. If they did, they may have seen he sucked down 25/50/100 mcg of Fentanyl that night. I would imagine he would be a little spacey. (IMO)
Again, such a tragedy and I pray for the family to heal their loss.
Yes, I think that this is tragic, however tighter regulations WILL NOT prevent future deaths.
GOOD PARENTS and parents getting more involved will.
It all starts at the front lines. Great job to the people in charge of the new "anti-drug" ad campaigns on TV. They hit home and are great advice for a parent on confronting your child. Let's place blame where blame is due.
That is my .02
Keystone
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he never existed.
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Sweetz
Diamond Mind
Reged: 05/11/02
Posts: 764
Loc: Texas!
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I'm hoping they somehow clicked in the wrong place and didn't read the post before posting their own. this is a board you have to be observant and post things where they need to go to the best of your knowledge. Maybe they just got lost?
Also, Keystone, sometimes you're not with your kids 24/7. By that I mean in the same room with them. If he said goodnight and went to bed and then did it, then how would they know? My daughter recently did something traumatic in her room after she had retired. I didn't even notice it for 2 days either! that's what made me feel like Best if kept off the board, but you don't check every inch of your child's body every day unless you have reason to. They always tend to do things you TOTALLY think is way beyond them, that they'd never do. They have to have some freedom to learn life's lessons. I guess he learned a big one the hard way.
I wanna know where I can get these for 25.00 each? It'd be worth it for a 5 day migraine, I tell ya!
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"If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."
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keystone
Veteran
Reged: 09/05/02
Posts: 586
Loc: Arizona, USA
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Sweetz, you have a good point. I guess we can't totally control our kids. I am just wondering how the kid even got in the door or drove (if he did) that night?
You're right. We can't supervise them 100% of the time, but wouldn't you agree that the majority of parents w/ teens that are addicts spend either no time or very little with them?
Anywhoo...such a tragedy. I think all the members who read the article will hopefully be scared enough to ask their childeren more questions. It certainly has for me.
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he never existed.
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yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
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This is a very disturbing story, I feel very bad for Jesse and his parents. I can't even begin to imagine what that felt like for his father coming in and seeing everyone's worst nightmare. Can you imagine what this 6-year-old brother will be going through, that memory forever haunting him? This story is an absolute tragedy- I see no other way of looking at it.
The kid was only 19; he had his whole life in front of him. He was not even old enough to drink, yet he could get Duragesic- ironic how 19-year-old kids have an easier time getting pain medication than adult chronic pain sufferers.
A person who reads this story and says "oh great, another idiot kid OD'd and died, this is going to make it harder for me to get my drugs"- that is disgusting. How can you read a story about what happened to this kid and his parents and only think about how it affects you? It is not going to have a huge effect on OP's at all, do you know an OP that prescribes Duragesic?
The drug is already a Schedule II. They could not make it harder to get- this article has no impact on the drug's availability. It is already well-known how abusable CII narcotics are, that's why they are CII's. It has nothing to do with OP's. Many people have abused it, OD'd, and died from it.
Jesse dropped out of high school and played Russian Roulette with the jackpot of opiate drugs, there was obviously something more going on in his life than drugs. I hope the parents take an honest look at what happened instead of just blaming it on the drug- drug abuse is a manifestation of another problem. As painful as that may be for them, it may save the life of the brother, and that's what they have to hope for at this point.
I do not believe in PSA's (public service announcements), those "the anti-drug" ads you see now. Ask a teenager what (s)he thinks about them and they will either say "retarded" or "totally gay" or "hella stupid." Kids feel the same way about the D.A.R.E. program. Kids need quality drug education, they should not have marijuana and heroin lumped in the same category. Drug education should not be taught my an authority figure- kids do not want to be told by an authority figure that they shouldn't do something because it will annoy other authority figures. There should be a recovering junky coming in and telling his story. Someone who is real. They should be taught harm reduction and should have quality mental health care made available to them if they should need it- that is what will save lives.
No, a parent cannot be looking over their shoulder 24/7, nor should they be. To even have to do that is cause for concern. Kids do not come with a manual, and no one is expected to be a perfect parent. A child needs to feel secure in his/her own home and feel loved. Constant supervision will create rebellious behavior. We live in a very complicated society today, kids have a lot more to worry about now than previous generations- and no matter how much progress we make, there will always be kids like Jesse. A child's suicide is the ultimate admission of failure in a society- instead of saying "thanks a lot kid, you made it harder for me to get drugs" maybe we should try to stop it from happening in the first place.
-yawkaw
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lastyls
Member
Reged: 05/25/03
Posts: 189
Loc: Usa
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I'm so happy to hear from one of the upstanding members, yawkaw3. This is a problem and is not as 'fun' as seeking a 'source' for our adult need, real or imagined. Jesse is/was a child and played roulette but didn't win, he was innocent and yes, I do feel pity and remorse for him and his family. I don't think he was so dumb or stupid, I think he was young and playing and I can't help but worry about my own children and the children I know and care about. I feel that this game is too common, even if you are looking for them, at them, and praying for them. Noone is immune, not you or me ,,,,,,,,,not a 17 yr. old, no matter the age, it happens.
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lastyls
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keystone
Veteran
Reged: 09/05/02
Posts: 586
Loc: Arizona, USA
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About those "anti-drug" ads, I was referring to the ones directed at us parents. I believe those are quality.
I think every child does and will continue to laugh at their campaign. It is a shame, though. They might learn something.
KS
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he never existed.
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tray1
Enthusiast
Reged: 11/22/03
Posts: 241
Loc: US
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My good lord, why would anyone at any age do something as stupid as to suck on a Morphine patch???? the stupidity amazes me and it only goes to show how today's youth will go to any length of getting high, I thought the cold & cough pills was bad enough, this is insane, Geeze when I was in HS the weirdest thing I ever heard of to get high was toad licking (wether this was true or not is beyond me) but this Best if kept off the board scares me to death, I have an 8 year old, what am I going to have to worry about come a few years? I mean sucking the medicine out of a Fentanyl patch!!!!!!!! WHere the heck did the kid get the patch from? I cant even find percocet!!!!!!!! Maybe I am just nieve or stupid but this sure woke me up............If they want to get high they will find it. My heart breaks for this kids parents, I hope who ever gave this kid that patch pays for this. How stupid to give someone this type of medication and who instructed him to suck the medicine out of it? I would never even contimplate doing this even on my worst of days...........
Tray
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SandyFeet
Stranger
Reged: 03/20/04
Posts: 21
Loc: The land of mint juleps, honys...
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Quote:
My good lord, why would anyone at any age do something as stupid as to suck on a Morphine patch????
I duno
I did some pretty dumb things when I was nineteen. I made irresponsible decisions. Okay, I made MANY irresponsible decisions. The teenage years are characteristic of risk taking behavior. Unfortunately, some risks carry severe consequences.
I am sure this kid had no idea the consequences of his actions
I am sure he didnt realize it would cost him his life.
Educate, educate, educate
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"When you can't change the direction of the wind--adjust your sails."
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wren
Enthusiast
Reged: 06/01/02
Posts: 276
Loc: up north & homesick for the di...
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I take it you don't have children Bargsbeer69.... shame on you. Yes, 19 yr. olds do a lot of stupid things,most think they are invincible,I know I did at 19.Having no sympathy,whether you speaking of the dead little boy or his family is so cold I cannot find an appropriate word.I sympathize and my heart breaks,I had a nephew to OD and to be quite honest I came too close in my own teen years.God Bless them and I am sending up my own prayers for the boy and for his broken hearted family.
And believe me Kids do a lot crazier things than this to get high.My 23 and 19 years old will tell you storys that will scare you to death,thank God we have an open relationship and talk about everything but some of it scares the best if kept off the board outta me. Take care all,and keep your babies close and give them a hug today no matter what their age! Wren'
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its all fun & games til someone puts an eye out,then its still fun ,you just can't see***
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shockstrap723
Stranger
Reged: 06/03/02
Posts: 8
Loc: usa
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I agree the "anti-drug/drinking" ads they have are not very effective, nor are the "just say no" programs they feed my kid in elementary school. They irritate me a great deal.
In a few years I am planning on taking him to an open AA or NA meeting. To see the real effects of alcohol and drugs can have when not respected. An Alanon or Narcanon meeting would probably be a good choice too. Some groups are more receptive to this than others, the rest of the group doesn't have to know why you are there. Just observe quietly. Just a way of showing him that "these things are out there, you will have some choices to make. This is what can happen if you make certain choices..."
Just a thought.
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yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
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That is an excellent idea, shockstrap. The more hardcore NA meetings are usually at mental hospitals, not churches, both both have their share. There are some people with absolutely horrifying stories- and they are real people, not actors in public service announcements- at those meetings.
-yawkaw
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Mercedes116x
Newbie
Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 47
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I know that most people here are older than me, but I'm sorry. When I was 19 I knew better than to do something like this. Common sense. Yes I did a lot of things that I regret, but none of them involved me possibly dying. I moved out of mom's house when I was 16. I had no financial support from her after that(hardly before) and today I am 22,have a high paying job. At 19 I did party a lot and spend most of my time with my friends, but I hate when people act like a 19 year old is not responsible for their own actions. In this country you are an adult at 18. You need to be out on your own and making wise decisions because when you eat a whole Fentnanyl patch at once then go to bed chances are if you have no tolerance for the drug, you are going to die. Of couse I have sympathy for the parents, but to try and put the blame on anyone but their son is unacceptable. I worked in a pharmacy and the patches along with all other CII's were kept in a locked cabinet called the safe. What else do they think should be done? As long as people are in extreme pain and need those kinds of meds then they will easily travel into the wrong hands. The people that I have seen getting these kind of drugs at the pharmacy are usually on Medicaid and if you think for one minute that people won't turn around and sell those patches for a quick $40 you are crazy. I guess I'm just tired of seeing the wrong people being singled out like cronic pain patients for things that stupid people are doing.
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lovepink
Goddess
Reged: 01/01/02
Posts: 1476
Loc: NYC Metro Area
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Quote:
I guess I'm just tired of seeing the wrong people being singled out like cronic pain patients for things that stupid people are doing.
You're outraged that people lump all 19 year olds together but its okay to single out Medicaid recipients? Could you please explain why you feel Medicaid recipients are the ones turning around & selling their scripts for "a quick $40"?
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yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
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Quote:
At 19 I did party a lot and spend most of my time with my friends, but I hate when people act like a 19 year old is not responsible for their own actions.
So you don't think 19-year-olds can have mental problems that can cloud their judgment? Since you "partied a lot" (but coincidentally for you ended up wealthy and in chronic pain at age 22), that means everyone else has the same level of judgment? You are just looking to make it clear that even though you partied hard at 19, you survived. Chances are you just got lucky. Some people push life to the limits and live it like a temporary arrangement- we've all done stupid stuff. I do not believe a 19-year-old is truly responsible for EVERYTHING they do.
-yawkaw
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curious
Member
Reged: 03/14/03
Posts: 179
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I agree 100% with Yawkaw that 19 yr. olds do not think as much as they should before they act and I also agree with the poster that remarked that 19 yr olds and around that age kids think they are invincable, I know I did. I feel terrible for the parents of this boy and I hope to God none of us have to suffer what they must be going thru right now. I also believe that this kid probably had no idea that he would not wake up in the morning, he obviously didn't know what he was getting into.
The comment that was made about DARE and the other programs they have for kids nowadays I must disagree with to an extent. Both my kids took DARE and I really honestly believe they learned a lot from this program. They would come home and get on me about my smoking cigarettes and still do. I would also like to applaud Wren and his relationship with his kids, the more open discussion with your kids the better. My kids come home and tell me who smokes and who came to school high. They have come home worried about a friend that was either doing drugs or having sex and asked me to get involved to help this or that kid so they wouldn't get hurt. I don't think you have to constantly snoop through your kids belongings to know whether or not they are getting into trouble. I firmly believe in open discussion with my kids. They know they can tell me anything and it won't get them or their friends in trouble. I had a niece who was having all sorts of problems and was even cutting herself ( a cry for attention) and my kids begged me to have her come live with us so we could help her.
I just think that raising teenage kids in this day and age is a very difficult job to do but you have to be extremely open minded and you have to listen to them, they will tell you if you just listen. I have a 19 yr old and a 14 yr old and am very proud of both my kids. My biggest problem with them is keeping their rooms clean and I pray that that is the worst I'll have to deal with but I know that if one of my kids tried something (drugs) they would come home and tell on themselves because I've always been very upfront with my children and they know that their parents weren't perfect teenagers and they are not expected to be perfect either but whatever they do they know they can come and tell us without worrying that they'll get in trouble for it. I'd rather have them tell me, know what is going on in their life and help them through it then to have to find out by snooping and then punishing just for them to go back out and do something worse just to rebel. I was a very rebelious teenager and I think that most of it was do to the fact that everytime I got caught and was told I wasn't allowed to do this or that, later I would go out and do it tenfold just because. Sorry this is so long but I thought that some parents out there might like to look at it from another standpoint. Bravo Wren, I'll bet you end up with great kids!
Curious
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Mercedes116x
Newbie
Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 47
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I never said that I partied "hard". I know at 19 I took responsibility for my own actions and many times others. I just recently paid off the payments on a car I had years ago because a friend of mine decided that he was going to take my car hours after I had gone to bed, out drunk driving and wrap it around a tree. What was I supposed to tell the bank? That it wasn't my fault? I don't think so, I had to make payments until the $5000 was paid off. And about the medicaid patients, I didn't say all of them did this. The people that I knew that sold their meds were on Medicaid. One in particular had cancer. She was the mother of one of my sister's friends. This woman recieved numerous prescriptions for CII drugs including patches, MScontin, Lorcet, and morphine sulphate. I know because I filled them. And I know she sold them, because my sister hung out at her house with her daughter. She sold them to people as young as 15. The only opinions I express are from firsthand experiences, not assumptions. Everyone is quick to judge but most people here didn't grow up in this age where prescription drug abuse is as common as it has become. At 19 I was held responsible for what I did because who else was going to be? I have extreme sympathy for any parent who loses a child. As for any child who loses a parent as I did.
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Sweetz
Diamond Mind
Reged: 05/11/02
Posts: 764
Loc: Texas!
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Ya'll really can't lump all 19 yr olds together though. I moved away from home at 17 and left all the partying behind me. So, not all 19 yr olds are immature. Granted, this one wasn't very bright to do what he did. I do not want to say he wasn't very bright, because he could have been, but mislead along the way.
When my oldest daughter smoked for the first (and only) time, she was caught and I did something I've never heard of anyone doing before. I realized that at her age, it will have to be HER decision. I can't always be there with her. She's a gifted child in school, so I made her write me a 2 page paper on the dangers of smoking, plus the usual grounding. That was also done with alcohol when I found out they snuck beer from a parent's refrig while at a slumber party. One page on the short term and one on the long term. I had to convince her it was not good for HER. She would be the one to say no, not me. The commercial with the frying pan and the egg just isn't cutting it any more.
Now, on the other hand. I tried to give my youngest daughter one of my Naproxen for her cramps. She saw me get it from a script bottle and had a cow. It has been drilled into these kids heads NOT to take ANY script that is not yours. I finally had to let her know the doc gave all of us one huge script to help save money. That part, I don't mind. I don't want her taking something someone has snagged from their parents' medicine chest. She and her friends may dress all in black, but they are against drugs, tattoos, excessing earrings, and GOTH. I know, contradictory, eh?
Tray, keep the book reports in mind for when your child gets older. It really helped to steer her away from things and have the strength to say no on her own. Not because she was scared to get caught, but because she knew the dangers. Your child seems to be the type to get a good lesson from that. Not every child is going to learn something that way.
But, I must say, I was very pleased when I saw multiple books on alcohol and her reading them and taking notes! I said she must have multiple sources and direct quotes, just like a teacher would.
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"If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."
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SandyFeet
Stranger
Reged: 03/20/04
Posts: 21
Loc: The land of mint juleps, honys...
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Sweetz ( as does Mercedes) make a valid point, we are all different, whether nineteen or thirty-five. Some people are responsible, and some are not responsible; however, I do believe it is safe to generalize that the teenage and early adult years ( as a GROUP) are a risk taking population -not ALL, but most.
I remember when I was nineteen. I had my friends that went to college immediately after high school, and my friends that didnt. I had girl friends pregnant in high-school. They were mothers at sixteen. Where they bad or stupid people? I dont think so - young, and naive is more appropriate.
Would I have chosen motherhood at sixteen? NEVER; howevere, I never judge others. I would like not to be judged.
I just happened to be one of those wild chickies that needed a few years to find myself - and ya know thats okay, too. I didnt settle down and focus until my early twenties. I actually believe living and experiencing my own mistakes was the best growing up experience for ME. I was a much better college student at twenty-three than I ever would have been at eighteen or nineteen.
As Mercedes points out, prescription drug abuse wasnt as prevalent fifteen years ago as it is today, at least not to my knowledge. I cant recall one person I knew that abused prescription drugs.
I also do not recall fearing that an armed assassin, a peer, might terrorize my school and kill me, my teacher, and my friends, so these are definitely different times.
It seems like we are a nation dealing with a large number of deeply disturbed youth - or has it always been this way?
This young man that died a horrible and tragic death was obviously a deeply disturbed youth- ( as yakaw pointed out, and I agree).
educate, educate, educate
.and with HONESTY.
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"When you can't change the direction of the wind--adjust your sails."
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Anglwink
Veteran
Reged: 04/29/03
Posts: 605
Loc: East coast
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QUOTE: -people like this are the one's that make it easier for
the Government Ban Legal OP's in the U.S.
You are right, this does sound cold-hearted of you...anyway, there is no OP around that would prescribe anyone Fentynal patch's, so it is irrelavent to people who utilize op's. Anglwink
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"Believe"
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RedDaisy252
Stranger
Reged: 11/07/03
Posts: 12
Loc: Indiana
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I had a very hard time deciphering what exactly your message was while reading both posts. And quite frankly I take grave offense to the accusations of the Medicaid recipients. I am a social worker and have worked in this field for 9 years. Just about everyone of my clients have been on Medicaid and yes there are a few that will participate in illegal activities. But, I guess the question I pose is if you were the one that filled the order for this particular person and you had direct knowledge that she was selling and to persons as young as 15, where were you when the police or the Parents obviously needed to be notified? I agree not all 19 year olds need to be lumped together. But, it's like an oxy moron saying that and then stereotyping Medicaid receipients. Perhaps I did not read thoroughly enough, but I am a little got by the whole thing. I say when we see this happening, it is our duty to take care of business!!! It takes a village...
That is my 2 cents for what is worth.
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Mercedes116x
Newbie
Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 47
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I was not trying to offend anyone when I made a statement about Medicaid. I know many people on Medicaid and would never make a generalization about all of them. I simply said that the only people that I knew for a fact that resold their meds were indeed on Medicaid. The only reason I commented is because I have first hand experience with Medicaid patients and Fentanyl patches. My dad was on Medicaid and the patches when he overdosed on hydrocodone and died. And about the police if I had seen someone selling pills in the parking lot them yes it would have been my "job" to do something, but what people do in their own home does not concern me. These Medicaid patients still needed their meds, but sold a portion of them because they needed the money. I have no desire to get involved in their personal business so they end up losing all of their meds. I have plenty of examples of these situations, its not just one instance. People on Medicaid are obviously needy in the first place so its not my place to make moral decisions about them.
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potatoboy99
Permanent Fixture
Reged: 02/04/03
Posts: 1192
Loc: Deep North (East)
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Quote:
I duno
I did some pretty dumb things when I was nineteen. I made irresponsible decisions. Okay, I made MANY irresponsible decisions. The teenage years are characteristic of risk taking behavior. Unfortunately, some risks carry severe consequences.
I think that hits the nail pretty squarely on the head. This is such a sad story. And I don't think it's a "any kid can buy prescription drugs, and look what happens" kind of story.
Kids at that age are curious and reckless and immortal and eager to experiment, hungry for new sensations, lunging headlong (I remember) to find an experience or an insight or a relationship or a book or a song or a substance that might finally be the catalyst that forms them. The one critical magical ingredient that's been missing all along, that will change the limpid ectoplasmic jelly of teenager into something resembling a man with a plan.
Sucking on a fentanyl patch sounds to most of us like a monumentally dumb thing to do, although it must have seemed like a good idea at the time. This poor kid could not possibly have known he was risking his life. There is a harm reduction point of view that takes the position that kids are going to do drugs anyway, so lets make sure they know how to use them safely. There is an excellent message board devoted to this discussion.
And while it is certainly an improvement, there is an element of the Anti Drug ads that sounds an awful lot like Nancy Reagans mindless and dangerous Just Say No mantra. Even in the very best parent-child relationships kids will hide things from their parents. They maintain, by instinct and necessity, a mental and spiritual territory that parents are not privy to. A Do Not Enter zone where things like drugs and sex happen.
And there are plenty of things kids don't try very hard to hide, but that parents just don't want to hear, or that they just don't know what to do about. It's unlikely that many parents of teenagers have warned them about the dangers of, and appropriate techniques for recreational use of, Fentanyl patches.
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kandi
Veteran
Reged: 05/07/02
Posts: 676
Loc: Maryland
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Quote:
I agree 100% with Yawkaw that 19 yr. olds do not think as much as they should before they act and I also agree with the poster that remarked that 19 yr olds and around that age kids think they are invincable, I know I did. I feel terrible for the parents of this boy and I hope to God none of us have to suffer what they must be going thru right now. I also believe that this kid probably had no idea that he would not wake up in the morning, he obviously didn't know what he was getting into.
The comment that was made about DARE and the other programs they have for kids nowadays I must disagree with to an extent. Both my kids took DARE and I really honestly believe they learned a lot from this program. They would come home and get on me about my smoking cigarettes and still do. I would also like to applaud Wren and his relationship with his kids, the more open discussion with your kids the better. My kids come home and tell me who smokes and who came to school high. They have come home worried about a friend that was either doing drugs or having sex and asked me to get involved to help this or that kid so they wouldn't get hurt. I don't think you have to constantly snoop through your kids belongings to know whether or not they are getting into trouble. I firmly believe in open discussion with my kids. They know they can tell me anything and it won't get them or their friends in trouble. I had a niece who was having all sorts of problems and was even cutting herself ( a cry for attention) and my kids begged me to have her come live with us so we could help her.
I just think that raising teenage kids in this day and age is a very difficult job to do but you have to be extremely open minded and you have to listen to them, they will tell you if you just listen. I have a 19 yr old and a 14 yr old and am very proud of both my kids. My biggest problem with them is keeping their rooms clean and I pray that that is the worst I'll have to deal with but I know that if one of my kids tried something (drugs) they would come home and tell on themselves because I've always been very upfront with my children and they know that their parents weren't perfect teenagers and they are not expected to be perfect either but whatever they do they know they can come and tell us without worrying that they'll get in trouble for it. I'd rather have them tell me, know what is going on in their life and help them through it then to have to find out by snooping and then punishing just for them to go back out and do something worse just to rebel. I was a very rebelious teenager and I think that most of it was do to the fact that everytime I got caught and was told I wasn't allowed to do this or that, later I would go out and do it tenfold just because. Sorry this is so long but I thought that some parents out there might like to look at it from another standpoint. Bravo Wren, I'll bet you end up with great kids!
Curious
It really is difficult to raise teens these days. My two oldest kids (23 and 18) never did any drugs or drank so I lucked out there. As a matter of fact, my 18 y.o. son is involved in a sort of 'movement' that is extremely anti-drug, even though he is a heavy metal guitar player. My youngest son (15) is a whole different story.., he has ADD, and these kids are at very high risk for drug and alcohol abuse. Fortunately, his 'big brother' will rat him out at the drop of a hat, for his own good. I have known since last Fall he was experimenting with MJ occassionally. It has become a big bone of contention between us. There was a kid that he suddenly started hanging out with, whose family I did not know. It turns out the boy had an older brother the same age as MY older son, and he gave me the goods on the family. It seems that both the kid's older brothers were into all kinds of drugs, and had been in trouble with the law, kicked out of school, etc. I simply forbade my son from going to the kid's house, in spite of numerous fights about it, and much acrimony because of it. I stuck by my guns. Well, a few months later, the younger boy found his older brother dead from a heroin OD. Believe me, I took no pleasure in being 'right' about this situation, but I knew that I had done the right thing. I made my son go to the viewing, so that he could see the reality of an 18 y.o. kid, dead, in his casket. Did it stop the pot smoking? No...but I certainly hope that somehow, a lesson was learned, and that prayerfully, nothing 'harder' will be experimented with. My point with this long-winded epistle? Parents, trust your instincts and don't be afraid to say "NO". 
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Monte Montgomery ROCKS!
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yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
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Quote:
Well, a few months later, the younger boy found his older brother dead from a heroin OD. Believe me, I took no pleasure in being 'right' about this situation, but I knew that I had done the right thing. I made my son go to the viewing, so that he could see the reality of an 18 y.o. kid, dead, in his casket. Did it stop the pot smoking? No...but I certainly hope that somehow, a lesson was learned, and that prayerfully, nothing 'harder' will be experimented with. My point with this long-winded epistle? Parents, trust your instincts and don't be afraid to say "NO".
I lost a close friend this past Thanksgiving to heroin/MSContin. The kid had been in rehab twice and was in therapy twice a week. He was on a ton of psych meds he wasn't even taking. All I hope for now is that in his next life he can find the peace that so escaped him in this one. He was the closest person to me that had ever died in my short 24 years on this planet.
Two people at the funeral (at least) were heroin addicts- both were recently in jail but are walking the streets again and are still heavily into heroin.
The people at the funeral who were just casual pot smokers and weekend drinkers still continue to do that. I think they are unlikely to touch something stronger- once reality hits you in the face like that, it is a real wakeup call. Maybe for the few who were going to go on to stronger drugs anyway will have his memory brought back to them in vivid color before making that choice.
I still think the D.A.R.E. program is ridiculous- a junky who has been there and is real should come to the school, not a cop. I've explained this already, so I won't go into it again- but kids need some REAL drug education. Not the lies and propaganda they get with D.A.R.E. Give kids something to be afraid of, not something they're supposed to be afraid of but laugh at instead.
-yawkaw
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bargsbeer69
Journeyman
Reged: 03/22/04
Posts: 80
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I started this Thread because i read an Article in my local newspaper about a 19year Old Man that Consumed the contents Of a Fentynal Patch In a matter of minutes.Since then I have been contacted by Jesse's Cousin ,And she explained some things to me about Jesse and his Life that The Newspaper did not say. I will stand my ground on how I feel about the situation.I agree With You MERCEDES116X Adults do need to Be held accountable for there Actions.I have the Deepest Condolences for Jesse' Family ,Friends....etc. More responsibility has to be taken on everyones part Parents ,Drugdealers, Druguser's ....etc im Just giving examples Im 23 No i don't Have Children ,Children require Alot of Care and responsibility to raise them.I don't think of drugabuse or Addiction as a Crime it's a Disease Im not saying Jesse was a Drug addict but thats how Society is going to Judge him. In America we treat Drug problems as a Evil Crime. when in fact it's A public health Issue we need to rehabilitate People With drug problems and Parents need to get more involved because Lets Face it most parents aren't .Most Parents let there sons and Daughters Do Whatever they Want ,whenever they want,Thats A Fact.You mothers and Fathers out there that are reading this You need to get more involved with your Kids lives.And Quit saying that you can't Control your Kids,granted kids are one thing,Once those Kids turn 18 they become Adults and they have to be Responsible for there actions.And If you see a Kid or young adult or older adult for that matter with a Drug problem they need to get that person Help.one way or another.I can't tell you how many Kids i Knew when i was growing that would Smoke POT ,and Drink with there Parents (very Irresponsible).Im not saying all do this and im not saying this was Jesse' case either.I was on the same path as this Kid at one Time in my life But i got help took care of my drug problem.and things in my life got alot better.Has Anyone here ever thought that Most Drug Problems start at Home,We live in a country where over 50% of marriages end in Divorce and in Most cases the mother get's stuck raising the Kids full time and God bless every single Mother and father out there thats Doing it.Look im not saying this is everyones Case, Or every kid that Smoked POT with there parents will be a drug addict,Or That Kids that Come from broken homes are gonna all become drug addicts,
All im trying to say is I feel Most Drug Problems are not a
Crime it's a Health Problem in my Opinion.And Adults need to Be Held Accountable for their actions .Im sure most of you are saying that those are 2 different things and don't relate to each But in America there is too many Avenues for Help And free help at that if your abusing Prescripton drugs or Designer Drugs...etc I dont care who you are you know what you are doing is Dangerous And Life threating among other problems they can cause , If you feel you have a Drug or substance abuse problem or know Someone who does You can get Help it's not Hard at all I know i did it.I dont want to see want to see another Person Die from a Drug overdose and at such a young age!!.
Educate ,Get Involved
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