DrugBuyers.Com: Near desperation - lack of prescribers

OK - so I gave myself the test. Do I really need medication.
I had extensive help from a specialized (in pain) psychiatrist, and I lowered my intake of opiates to see how I would do. Also to catch up for previously borrowing from myself.

My conclusion is yes. I am not going to be the one that got out of control. I have been there, and I know I don't need to be near overdose to feel good.

But I need adequate medication. The psychiatrist even agreed and said he'd recommend to my GP (whom he knows) to treat me with narcotics indefinitely.
After three years of fighting, it seems as if someone is believing me, and I'll be able to receive meds on prescription consistently, rather than in stints. Up till now, I'd never be sure if tomorrow was going to be the day when they said "ok! from today on it's nothing but Facet joint injections, spinal injection, and good fresh air and lots of activity!"

I dreaded that day. In truth, I've come to the point where I do need a steady regimen to keep happy, to keep funtional, to want to get out of bed, to find a job again.
Yes I have mental issues (none of which are addiction), but my pain is real, not in my head.

June 4, 2004. That's when I see my GP, supposedly after the pain specialist has made his recommendation. OR so it would seem.

I called the GP's office, and it seems the two doctors have been playing phone tag for a solid week, nothing's been discussed, the GP is still "NOT COMFORTABLE prescribing", and in two days I will go into the first official real withdrawal ever if I don't get help. And I consider myself opiate dependent owing to pain, not a drug addict. BTW, NOT that I think of drug addicts as anything less than human beings, because they **&*& ARE, but that's for another discussion. I am in pain of what I am now, and I might be SOL in two days come refill time.

Can a GP, after all this, just tell me to go to hell and let a decent honest person (I like to think) just suffer not only the pain, but withdrawal sickness?
Can this happen in a Western country in 2004?

Can I quote him chapter and verse what statute prohibits a physician to inflict harm by idly sitting by and letting a CP patient fend for himself?

shocking statement coming up, I will allow you to scroll.

ok...
further..

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BUT, I have had it. I can't fight any more.
I have toyed with the thought of ..

scroll more..

...buying a gun and shooting myself in the head.
HAHAHA!!

NOwhere else can I say this in confidence.

In my state, I can say this and the doctors can't do diddly. This is one of those places where they can lock you up for it...after the fact, but not if you say it.

Besides, I am just trying to convey my level of desperation, I am certain you guys can understand and won't get worried, because you know I'm 99 per cent certain it won't happen.
I have a wife and a life, but I can't fight, and I can't live in pain all the time. It's certainly a huge dillemma.

I am tired, undermedicated as it is, and my GP "doesn't feel comfortable" (say it in a high-pitch girlish whiney voice and you'll see what I am trying to say. -- here's the see-saw...
me, in pain, nowhere else to go for now, fed up to the back teeth, and about to give up AND on the other side. the good doctor with a slight problem that I cannot even quite fathom, given that he has documentation, as well as the blessing of the hospital's pain management "Chef de Clinique" to treat my pain adequately. Legally he's covered, ethically he's definitely BETTER off treating me.

I need to prepare my talk and go in armed - with KNOWLEDGE not a weapon! I need to be understanding of his situation.
Maybe I can convince him with enough common sense, stats, facts, figures and statutes. But shouting, demanding and threatenting is the surest way to a life of misery right now..

So the lines are open! Please help me. I need all the info I can get. As for my own part in this, I am gathering some interesting articles from here and pain sites to aid in my defence.

All help is welcome. If this goes right, my life will change on june 4, for the better, much better! And you'll probably be seeing less of me in the case of success, but it will be because I am out pursuing a life with all the vigour of a regular 35-year-old, not a semi-disabled one.

Thanks folks, you all have my respect as it is, and if you can help me, my eternal gratitude as well..
Cheers for now,

Pascal - aka Redhill