DTZNuff
Board Addict
Reged: 11/16/02
Posts: 312
Loc: B.F.E.
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Well as some of you know I was let go from my job last week...and I am still scratching my head as to why I was let go. I showed up on time, worked hard when I was there, hardly ever made any mistakes, and I thought was a darn good worker. My boss said quote: if this isn't your dream job then what are you doing here. Also I wouldn't come in "early" or stay "late" even though I was getting my work done. Well anyway, that is all over and done now and besides the point but one of my former employees called me to tell me that he is telling everyone at work that the reason that I was let go was I was ordering all of these drugs off of the internet and coming in screwed up all of the time. (which is not the case at all) I never went in to work on any type of drug except Ultram (when my back hurt) and I guess my point is can he legally talk about me like that behind my back to my former employees or is that defamation of character? Even if I did have a drug problem (which I don't) he can't fire me for that and that wasn't the reason that he fired me anyway. Also this is my father in-law and he is a real Best if kept off the board. Does anyone have any advice. Should I see an attorney?
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 Serenity Now, Insanity Later!
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ewebp
Veteran
Reged: 12/13/01
Posts: 593
Loc: midwest
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Okay...first I want to say...never take a job where your father-in-law is the boss. You are just looking for trouble.
What exactly was his reason (the one he told you personally) for letting you go?
Also...Were you late for work a lot? Did you take many 'sick days' from work? How do people know you ordered meds from the Internet?
-EW
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needinfo
Enthusiast
Reged: 03/19/03
Posts: 259
Loc: South East USA
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Short answer--
1. You may very well have a valid cause of action against your employer.
2. Such a suit brings MORE attention to the reasons for your discharge instead of letting it fade into the sunset.
3. You may/may not win and you may/may not get substantial damages.
4. You probably ought to check into a divorce lawyer at the same time.
Sorry, but I'd put this one behind me and try to put the family back together as much as possible.
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The older I get the more I NEEDINFO.
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DTZNuff
Board Addict
Reged: 11/16/02
Posts: 312
Loc: B.F.E.
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He said that we weren't going down the same pathways and that I didn't come in early and I wouldn't stay late....let me say that when I was there I worked my tail off. That is what makes me so angry. I did work hard for him! I was never late and never missed any work. He is just a real piece of work!
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Serenity Now, Insanity Later!
Edited by neogreg (04/17/03 09:58 AM)
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ewebp
Veteran
Reged: 12/13/01
Posts: 593
Loc: midwest
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Neogreg,
I agree with needinfo. You may have a valid case against him, but how will this affect your relationship with your wife and family? Lawsuits against an employer can get ugly (especially when it is your father-in-law). When he finds out he is being sued, he will probably dig up as much dirt on you as he can.
Did your wife bring to his attention your need for ordering meds from OP's? Or did you tell your fellow co-workers about it?
-EW
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DTZNuff
Board Addict
Reged: 11/16/02
Posts: 312
Loc: B.F.E.
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I had told my fellow co-workers about the meds...you can never trust anyone...I had to find this out the hard way....one of my co-workers was ratting me out on everything that I was doing. 
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Serenity Now, Insanity Later!
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parusski
Veteran
Reged: 07/19/02
Posts: 598
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Quote:
I had told my fellow co-workers about the meds...you can never trust anyone...I had to find this out the hard way....one of my co-workers was ratting me out on everything that I was doing.
BUT how did anyone, expicially a co-worker know you were ordering from OP's. The only people that KNOW I order online are all DB members, the UPS, USPS, and Fed-Ex drivers are pretty sure, but I tell no ONE. I would let it drop. You could find yourself in an oven if you pursue legal actions.
Sorry about this neogreg. I have been through some tough times over the last few months, and I have learned to stop taking the bait when cast my way.
Good luck,
David
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I no longer post or pm. Those who talk to me, use email. Much safer that way.
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qbird
material girl
Reged: 09/02/02
Posts: 826
Loc: USA
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My friend, you and I are in the same boat. I was also laid off last month. Mine was for money reasons though and not anything personal. I just fell in the last hired first fired category. It is really tough.
First, never ever work for family. I found that out the hard way. I seldom ever see those things work out. It also seems like you can't do anything to please them. I know from experience. So don't take it too hard.
About the med thing, don't tell anybody not even someone you think you can trust. I have pulled a knife or two out of my back a few times. Sometimes people you think are trustworthy are the absolute pits. Hang in there along with me and I hope you find something else soon.
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tracerb
Board Addict
Reged: 03/21/03
Posts: 322
Loc: USA
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Having been a paralegal and written an entire memorandum on the subject, I can tell you if you are considered an employee-at-will (which most employees are), you will have no recourse, unless there is discrimination involved. For that to happen, you would have to reside in what current law refers to as a "protected class", most notably African Americans and Women. Essentially an employer can dismiss for just about any reason if you are an employee-at-will, with obvious exceptions.
If you have an employment contract or the employer publishes an employee handbook, they are required by law to dismiss you according to any procedures outlined in either the contract or the handbook. If either of these two scenarios are present in your case, you may have good cause to bring a lawsuit.
If I were you, I would apply for unemployment benefits. It may take a month or so but it's likely from you've said you will be able to prove to the adjudicator that your firing was unjust (the above law I mentioned does not come into play with respect to an unemployment claim as they are an entirely separate ageny unto themselves with their own regulatory requirements).
Sorry, I don't mean to be pessimistic about it. Just do a search on employee at will on google and you should be able to confirm what I have told you. If you have enough previous work though, you should be able to obtain unemployment benefits. I would suggest filing your claim immediately as you while your case is being considered, you still file you weekly claims and if it's decided in your favor, they send you a check for all the weeks you filed while waiting for your claim to be adjudicated.
Edited by tracerb (05/02/03 08:45 AM)
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gdbrmk
Stranger
Reged: 12/11/01
Posts: 23
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hi all,
employee at will also defined as worker not protected
by a union/association.
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Brady
Newbie
Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 34
Loc: Buffalo, New York
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NeoDude, wow, I really feel for you. I mean, geeze, holidays with the in-laws are gonna be rough this year!
(No, really I do feel badly for you. Life at home can be a living H*ll when you don't get on well with your in-laws!) I wish you a lot of luck.
Brady
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prettyday
Threadhead
Reged: 02/09/03
Posts: 914
Loc: Coastal Sage Scrub
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Yes that employ at will thing is not widely known. Many employers and employees still believe mistakenly that there a 30 to 60 day probation period.
The two-week notice thing is interesting too, under this provision. I think officially you don't have to give it, but unofficially one still avoids burning bridges!
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi
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lnd4508
Old Hand
Reged: 06/23/02
Posts: 450
Loc: USA
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First of all, do they have a policy manual? If so, and if they have any sense at all, it would include language that if someone is suspected to be under the influence, they are to be immediately tested. Obviously you were never called upon to do that. Every company, no matter how small, should have a policy manual. If you were an exempt employee (paid straight salary/no overtime - example, a manager or supervisor), you are not required to be given a reason for dismissal. If you are non-exempt (salary with overtime), you must be given a reason for dismissal. At least that's the way it is in the state where I live. You should also file for unemployment benefits immediately. If you are ruled against, then appeal. Many people get their decisions reversed on appeal with the State agency. You probably have a better chance of getting unemployment benefits than you think. I never thought I would receive any, and I did without an appeal process.
Edited by lnd4508 (05/02/03 02:51 PM)
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moonshade
Old Hand
Reged: 12/01/02
Posts: 458
Loc: searching for my lost shaker o...
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Neogreg: Number one: and you've probably figured this out don't tell people, especially co-workers that you order meds. from online pharmacies. That's a shame that co-worker did you in like that.
Just for the sake of pride, why don't you go have a drug test performed, and send the father-in-law the copy of results. After all, soma is not controlled , right?
That is , if you can pass the drug test.Not trying to be a smart&**^^, but there are people that get whatever they can, from wherever they can, and well...it's their decision, I'm not going to judge them.
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*** insert profound statement here ***
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IMSUSCOT1
Threadhead
Reged: 10/23/02
Posts: 868
Loc: usa
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This is a terrible situation! I'm so sorry! To use an old Navy expression, "loose lips sink ships!" Some things are just better kept to yourself, especially something like this!
JMO, but if it's your father in law, 1.) Drop any thoughts of "legal recourse"... I don't know what state you're in, but it's more likely than not you are an employee at will, meaning your boss can get rid of you because he didn't like the way you parted your hair this morning, if he wanted to. Also persuing this will just prolong you're anger, and increase your ill-will toward your father in law and vice versa. Your relationship as a family is far more important than your brief and unfortunate relationship as employer/employee
2.) The best way to prove your father in law was wrong AND to vindicate yourself, as well as repair your damaged self esteem, is to go out and find yourself a good job and then perform well at it.
3.) Five years from now (you'll just have to trust me on this, and I think those of us with 10 - 15 years of life experience on you will agree) this will be FAR less important than it is now...I'm not minimizing your feelings....but life has a funny way of putting things into perspective for you....and I promise you, it will
You have the opportunity to show your wife, your father in law and the rest of the family that you are a class act by forgiving your father in law and moving on as a family...I don't mean you have to go to him or anyone else and make any declarations, nor do you owe anyone an apology(unless you've said or done something since this all occurred...), just be the bigger man and move on with your life! If you move on, treat him as you did before all this happened, he'll be the one to look like the "best if kept off the boards" he is if he doesn't move on and treat you with respect
Good luck, and POST when you have that great job, ok?
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samw420
Member
Reged: 12/19/01
Posts: 142
Loc: NYC Metro Area
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If he is saying things to a third party that are A)untrue, and B)damaging to your charecter, you should immediately file a civil suit. Especially since it is work-related. His comments could lead to you having trouble finding work in the same area or within the same industry. From what you've said, you're father-in-law is slandering you and causing you damage. Collect a list of people he has said these things to and go speak to an attorney.
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SW
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DTZNuff
Board Addict
Reged: 11/16/02
Posts: 312
Loc: B.F.E.
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Well I thought I would give everyone an update. I did get a new job and am some what happy with it, but it is not near the pay that I was getting. That is fine. I have gotten another job offer from my in-laws major competitor and after they found out the @#$! hit the fan. I also think that they tipped this new employer off, although I don't know what was said, they popped a drug test on me. I wonder if I could have any recourse if that is indeed what they did? Anyway, I take the test tomorrow and there is no doubt in my mind that I will pass. It is kind of sweet revenge going to work for their competitors, and I didn't plan it for revenge. I do need to make more money. Unfortunately, that is what it boils down to.
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Serenity Now, Insanity Later!
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Sky_Queen
Fly Girl
Reged: 12/03/02
Posts: 1962
Loc: Texas
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Thanks for the update Neogreg. Glad to hear it's working out okay, even if you're not making as much $$.
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phinny
Enthusiast
Reged: 04/09/02
Posts: 247
Loc: Canada
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Oh Man, I can't tell you how close to my heart your story hit me. This isn't a labor relations issue, it's a family issue. That prick of an in-law you're stuck with wasn't sending you a message about how he felt about you as an employee. He was sending you a message about how he feels about you as a husband to his daughter, and a member of the family. Any in-law that truely cared about you as a member of the family would not have cast you aside like that. If he had a concern about the stories regarding your alleged use of medication, he would have talked to you about it, asked if you were comfortable about talking to him about it, offerred help, advice, or simply an ear. Then he would have had a little chat with the employee who spread the story right before handing him his walking papers for discussing such personal information at the workplace. I have the in-laws from hell; I've been through hell and back with them. The stories I could tell would rot your socks. Nothing you do will be good enough for people like this. Don't waste your time or energy on this guy. Walk away from fighting this in the courts, but it might do you some good to have a man-to-man talk about what he did to you, provided you're not one man short here. You teach people how to treat you. It's time to call class to order. If you don't mind me asking, where does your wife sit on this? Are you a united front? Please don't tell me she's sitting on the fence because she doesn't want to offend daddy. I don't claim that everyone should be like me, but if my mother pulled something like this on my wife, there would be hell to pay. Remember where the responsibility for this mess resides. It's now a rather difficult matter of holding him accountable.
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Sherman, set the way-back machine to 1970.
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prettyday
Threadhead
Reged: 02/09/03
Posts: 914
Loc: Coastal Sage Scrub
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This is really well thought-out advice. Clever and dignified; hard to do at the time, but pleasant to think back on later! 
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi
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IMSUSCOT1
Threadhead
Reged: 10/23/02
Posts: 868
Loc: usa
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Thanks prettyday and Neogreg....GOOD FOR YOU! 
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DTZNuff
Board Addict
Reged: 11/16/02
Posts: 312
Loc: B.F.E.
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Thank you for that post. You hit the nail right on the head. That is how I feel exactly. To answer your question about my wife, she was on the fence. But I think that she is finally starting to see how f'ed up her parents really are. I have never had the pleasure of having to deal with someone like him before. If anything I have learned a good life lesson from this whole experience. You have to look you for number one. Plain and simple. Second, never work for your in-laws. 
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Serenity Now, Insanity Later!
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tansun
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 05/28/02
Posts: 1152
Loc: southern USA
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just read all this . Wow - i think you should get your father in law a chia pet for xmas ( if you even get him anything at all ) I have to agree with everyone else that working for family isnt the best idea ( usually ends up bad ) i wish you the best on your new job. Another horrible xmas gift ( if you can even get one anymore ) is the "clapper " ( that thing that turns on the lights when you clap ) remember this though - my best words of wisdom - " LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE" dont let him see you down . move onward and kill him with kindness when xmas comes with the chia pet. best of luck
Tansun
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"Madam Meanness"
---------where theres a will, theres a way ----------
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phinny
Enthusiast
Reged: 04/09/02
Posts: 247
Loc: Canada
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Chia pet, huh? LMFAO. I can see it now. The hesitant acceptance of the gift, the slow, careful, unwrapping, the numb look, tears welling up, a slow loss of composure, dropping to his knees, clutching on to Neogregs pajama pants, screaming "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!"
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Sherman, set the way-back machine to 1970.
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