I have tried all three. Valium does not work for me. Xanax is not much better and I have personally had no problem getting off it. But then I went to klonopin which may be the reason.
However, in the past, I suddenly developed no need for xanax and again had no trouble getting off. I did not go to another similar pill. Just didn't need it any more and stopped without any side effects. But my body handles medicine a lot differently than most people.
I found the best luck for long term stress management with a health food store combination of Valarian root, hopps and a few other natural ingrediants. Valerain root is the basis for valium though but it has none of the euphoric properties. I took this comination for nearly a year before it stopped working which is a lot longer for prescription medications. While I can't remember the exact valerian combination, any health food store should have various combinations. Don't just buy valerian root. You need a combination for it to work. Maybe natural is the way to go. Seems these doctors make life hell for us and its legal to buy organic medicines. Wouldn't mind putting some doctors back to having to work a full work week and not make hundreds of thousands a year in income. They have let the 'God Syndrom' go to their heads.