DrugBuyers.Com: How do you prevent hydro constipation?

Thanks Everyone for the kind comments, as I said in my earlier post a very talented internet friend of mine wrote this and as you all know, anyone who has dealt with constipation has had Diarhea at one time or another...So enjoy...

[giggle] [explode] [flee!]

The Bottom Line What the hell were they thinking?

Hey. Dont get mad at me. Youre the one who clicked on this review.

Students: To understand the Diarrhea, you must first become the Diarrhea.

To aid you in your quest for scientific enlightenment, we now relinquish this brief but succinct Diarrhea factoid file.

Read it. Absorb it. Shoot it out your a-s. There will be a test on Friday.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Diarrhea
and more!

FACTOIDS AND RELATIVE DIARRHEA MISCELLANY
Diarrhea Research Organization (DRO)
Re: Various Diarrhea Related Findings
Cliff Notes Version (12-10-01)

The Origin of the Feces
The word Diarrhea is actually derived from the Latin word Diar and the Greek word Rhea. Roughly translated, Diarrhea means Milk of the Anus. This is the most widely accepted theory in regards to this mysterious words beginnings.

Others argue that the origin of the word may have stemmed from Dr. Regis Diarria, renowned for his groundbreaking research and application of hot chocolate. We here at the DRO find this theory to be ludicrous.

Inducing Diarrhea in Laboratory Animals
When preparing to induce a test specimen with a diarrheic agent, you must first ensure that it has been fed properly. Without proper ammunition, your test will be conducted in vain.

Usage of elephants in diarrheic experiments has been prohibited since 1982, when a student fatally drowned in a sea of feces.

Chihuahuas have been determined as the best possible candidate for diarrhea induction. The body weight / excrement ratio is unmatched and ideal for virtually any test application.

A safe and natural way to induce diarrhea is to replace the specimens water supply with Tropicana Pure Premium orange juice.

Types of Diarrhea
Though no two diarrheas are quite the same, most have blaring similarities and we have thusly pinpointed the main subgroups of this intestinal disorder. When treating diarrhea, it is imperative that you first identify the type so you may provide an accurate prescription.

Type: Volatile Diarrhea.
Symptoms: Loss of flesh tone, raw anus, continuous gurgling sound in the guts.
Description: A rectal spray similar to holding your thumb over a garden hose.
Treatment: Eat lots of Colby brick cheese.

Type: Curdled Diarrhea.
Symptoms: Brown stains on boxers, profuse sweating, cramps in guts
Description: An even flow with random penny sized chunks of fecal matter.
Treatment: Eat lots of Colby brick cheese.

Type: Chronic Diarrhea
Symptoms: Victim hasnt sh-t solidly in over two months.
Description: A constant state of loose stool.
Treatment: Stop eating at McDonalds.

Type: Fiarrhea
Symptoms: Enflamed anus, burning sensation when walking or sitting, 3rd degree burns.
Description: Red hot liquish-t spurts from a scorched anus, melting the toilet below.
Treatment: Eat lots of Colby brick cheese and Vicodin. Get a new toilet at Lowes.

The Social Risks of Diarrhea
Diarrhea is usually unforgiving, but temporary. This is not always the case. Though the health related effects of the hersheys squirts may become alleviated in due time, the long-term social effects of diarrhea can be crippling and permanent.

Take for instance Jane Phuckit, a CEO for a prestigious law firm. At her wedding, shortly after she spoke the words I do, a high-pitched squeak rocked the audience to its knees as a free-flowing stream of watery feces drained from her buttocks onto her wedding dress. As she fled the scene (leaving a dotted trail of squishy manure in her wake), everyone laughed and laughed and laughed. To this day people still laugh. I bet youre laughing right now.

There was also a reported case of a high school student who never fully recovered from his diarrheic antics. In gym class, he beckoned his friends to come near, saying Hey! Listen to this! As he tried to squeeze out the fart he had been prolonging, he was shocked to discover that more than gas escaped his rectum. A plump chunk of juicy poop escaped his gym shorts and splattered on the basketball court floor. In embarrassment, he retreated to the locker room as his friends stared at the excrement in awe.

The gym teacher, obviously disgusted, demanded that he clean up that f-cking mess! The poor guy was then forced to clean up the dookie on his hands and knees as the rest of the class circled him and watched. People laughed and laughed and laughed. Even kids 5 school districts away heard about the embarrassing incident. He was never heard from again.

In another case, there was a young girl who unleashed gallons of liquid poop during a game of naked twister at a Church lock in. She was burned at the stake, without trial, for heresy.

Catherine Zeta Jones, during her childhood, once crapped in the pool while she had diarrhea. Look where she is now. Do you want to end up like that?

Dispelling the Popular Myths of Diarrhea

Diarrhea is caused by excessive masturbation.
This is simply not true. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to realize this. If diarrhea truly was caused by excessive masturbation, then wed all be p-ssin out our a-s on a regular basis.

Diarrhea is good for the skin.
Again, not true. As a general rule, you should never apply feces to any part of your epidermis. Remember that diarrhea is a liquid form of feces. Feces is a scientific term for nasty waste product.

Diarrhea can bring back the dead.
Cmon. Where do you people come up with this sh-t?

Childrens Rhymes re: Diarrhea

When youre climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, Diarrhea!
When something feels amiss, and your a-s begins to p-ss, Diarrhea!
When youre watching I Love Lucy and your shorts feel kinda juicy, Diarrhea!
When youre playing hide-and-go-seek, and liquid sh-t explodes in a joyous cone-shaped spray from your unwilling sphincter, Diarrhea!

Final Thoughts on Diarrhea
Diarrhea is a vast and sprawling field of study, certainly not limited to the research reflected within this document.

As students of the DRO, it is your mission to constantly engulf yourself within this field and learn all that you can about diarrhea. For every answer you discover, there will be many more questions to follow.

This is the life of the scientist. The life you have committed yourself to.

Live the Diarrhea. Breathe the Diarrhea. Be the Diarrhea.

--------------------
Baseball is wrong...Man with four balls cannot walk!