DrugBuyers.Com: Who do you tell??

Jordan,

Thank you for the hug, it was greatly appreciated! I feel really lame now that I have looked at my post again. It seems like I am always having some kind of crisis since joining DB but I guess that is why I am even here in the first place.

I know that everyone that frequents this board has a pain issue of some sort so I feel quite needy when I come here whining about myself.

It seems like I have one good day surrounded by 6 bad days and it has become a bit overwhelming. Unfortunately today was one of my worst days. I am pretty sure I was experiencing some form of withdrawl today since my meds had been reduced from 480 mg of oxy to 320 mg of oxy and it has made me feel terrible all day. I was even taking clonidine 3 times each day since my doctor reduced my dose but it did not seem to help too much. Or if it was helping then I would hate to think how bad it would had felt w/out it in my system.

Anyway, I think I have a handle on it now but it sure has taken a lot out of me. I also feel like my back has been hurting a lot more than usual. I am sure a lot has to do w/ the lower dose of meds but even with that going on my back has been hurting more than ever.

Luckily on Tuesday I started physical therapy for the first time ever. I really hope that it will help soon. I just hope that I never have to experience going to see another doctor like my pain management doctor EVER AGAIN. There is something about the guy that when he gets talking to me I am unable to control my emotions. He is so mean and not at all what I expected a pain management dotor to be like. It is to long to get into but lets just say I felt 100% worse each time I left my appointment with him. The sad part is that I really can not control my emotions when I am with him. He just makes me feel so pathetic, like I should not have any sad feelings from all of this pain and everything that this pain has done to my life. He is such a putz! My husband has even had words with him before and while i appreciated him standing up for me it just has made things that much more uncomfortable when we meet. I try to tell myself that in the "real world" you know the world outside of his "pain clinic" I would not ever give two craps about this guy. Not only would I not ever socialize with a guy like him, but I am pretty sure he has been bullied a lot in his life. I would normally say that bullying is a terrible thing to do to anyone, but in this case I am hoping that he got slammed into lockers in school and never went on a date until he received his "doctor" status. I swear I am going to say something like that to him the next time he intimidates me. Something really mean is brewing inside of me and I am going to let it blow all over the guy!!

Anyway, thanks for your support. Hopefully I will be able to snap out of this funk real soon.

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Flea