DrugBuyers.Com: Who do you tell??

It was not like I was cut off 100% but something changed in the way they handled my treatment. I am in pain management right now but for some reason my family doctor has continued to prescribe my meds. I know that she has messed up several times but it was not until she started coordinating with my pain management doctor (who I absolutely HATE) that things started to change.

I never wanted to take the Oxy in the first place but she messed up so often with my doses of methadone and duragesic patches that somehow it was decided that she would try to give the oxy a try.

It has become the first med that has helped me. As a matter of fact beofre I was taking it I could bearely get through one day. I used to be very athletic and was in great shape. After my surgery it all wnet down hill. Now I have scar tissue pressing on my nerve that has caused more pain than even before the surgery. It has been a nightmare. So when I actually was able to work out two weeks ago (three times in one week) I was so happy. But then they decided to lower my dose and screwed me up. Not only that but she was only giving me 5 mgs of vicodin for the breakthrough pain. That was seriously a joke.

Anyway, so here I am sitting here again wondering what the heck happened. I understand that oxy has a social stigma attached to it, but what I can not understand is why pain doesn't have that same stigma? My life has been completely changed since my back surgery and I am so fearful that it will never feel normal again. I am so sad, so much and it seems like nothing is going to help me.

I do not even care about fighting for the pain meds anymore. It is to exhausting and I just can not take it anymore. The really difficult part is tryiong to convince my doctors that I am now experiencing withdrawl symptoms. I can not imagine anything getting worse right now.

Well except I just received a lay off letter from the college I work at. Apparently the grant that funds my position has been cut. It was a state grant that has been cut by our new govenor. There are 7 of us that lost our jobs but I feel so out of the loop since I have been on disability since Novemeber.

Going back to work and working with my students again was one of the only things that kept me working so hard at feeling better. So now that it has been taken away I feel even worse. Now what do I do? No one will want to hire me like this and it is not likely I will be feeling well enough any time soon to start looking for another job. I was supposed to start law school this year but I had to put it off for what I thought would only be one year. I had no idea I would be sufdfering so much this long after my surgery.

Sorry for giving my little pity story but it seems sometimes like no one else in my life understands how I feel, except for those of you that have either experienced the opain or are still going through it now.

Thanks for listebubg!

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Flea