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Toe I am not even going to pretend to understand what it feels like to have your condition or patronize you in anyway. I can't imagine how frustrating that type of disorder is. I have known and loved people who were manic depressive and para skitz, and its hell to watch, I can't imagine the hell it is to be trapped inside the body of someone with it.
I DO understand the frustration of not being able to better manage your own health care ie: pharamaceuticals that work, etc. I love it when youve been on meds for YEARS and you go to a new doc that insists HE knows better and switches you. I have ADHD and the doctors tried everything till I finally found what worked. Then I moved. Then hell broke loose....every new doc I saw wanted to "try" something different..a different dosage etc. ADHD may not seem that disabling to those when compared with depression but I can tell you it raised hell with my life for years untreated and I didnt want to go back to that route.
the only thing I can offer is this..if you have records cant your PCP give you enough meds to get you through or did you try that and I missed it? Its just a athought...maybe a lame one but a thought..