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For these sufferers, online is a lifeline to relief

Monday, December 01, 2003

BY J. SCOTT ORR
Star-Ledger Staff

Federal authorities see most online pharmacies as illegal operations that allow drug abusers to circumvent legitimate channels to feed their addictions.

But to members of the online community Drugbuyers.com, these pharmacies are lifesavers that provide narcotic relief for everything from back pain to migraines to anxiety.

Drugbuyers.com is a place where pain sufferers and drug abusers alike share tips on the best online pharmacies, where prescription-writing doctors are praised for their compassion, where there is no shame in self-medicating.

Typical is Karen, who was injured in a car wreck some five years ago. When after two years her doctors cut off her access to the painkiller Vicodin, she was desperate to find a new source.

"I went home that day, and contemplated suicide. I felt I couldn't fight for the rest of my life to receive the care I need in order to live a normal life," said Karen, who asked that her last name not be used.

"That night, I went online in hopes of finding a local doctor who could help me. I came across Drugbuyers.com. It was almost as though God himself directed me to it. It has been a lifesaver," she said.

In messages posted for their peers and in e-mail interviews, the denizens of Drugbuyers.com proved to be an articulate and passionate group, bound by their quest for the relief federally controlled medicines bring them. They also share a raging resentment that traditional avenues of procuring prescription drugs have been closed to them for reasons they cannot abide.

There is palpable indignation among the chronic pain sufferers at Drugbuyers.com about doctors who refuse to prescribe narcotics even to patients who can prove legitimate need. They blame the federal government and its "war on drugs" for scaring doctors away from their prescription pads.

"Some of the people here have no choice and depend entirely on the online pharmacies for all their pain meds, without which they either could not function or have any quality to their lives whatsoever," a Drugbuyers.com member named Folksong wrote in an e-mail.

"I guess my point is this: If doctors would take the time to listen to their patients and educate themselves about chronic pain -- in short, do their job -- the online pharmacies would not be such an issue," he added.

Alex Marlin, who started Drugbuyers.com about five years ago, said that the name of his site might give some people the wrong idea about what goes on there: "It is a name that makes people think our site is about 'drugs.' ... It is about drugs, but it is about prescription drugs."

Marlin said he created Drugbuyers.com because he felt for chronic pain sufferers who had difficulty in getting their pills through traditional sources. The site is paid for through advertising and subscription fees from "VIP members," who then qualify for discounts on drugs from participating online pharmacies.

People who admit to abuse or recreational use of drugs are banned from Drugbuyers.com, Marlin said, though many posts have only slightly veiled references to the more pleasurable side effects of painkilling drugs.

And the references to drug abuse on Drugbuyers.com are mild compared to those at other sites, like [censored].nu, that are devoted to discussions of illegal drug abuse and sharing strategies for getting high.

It is the unvarnished advice about online drug buying that attracts thousands of people to Drugbuyers.com every day.

People like Cindy, a 44-year-old nurse from Phoenix who says her body resembles a "road map" of scars left after "six back surgeries, three of them spinal fusions with various hardware added."

"I am without a doubt, hopelessly addicted to the narcotics," said Cindy, who also declined to give her last name. But she credits these drugs with enhancing, not degrading, the quality her life. If she must be an addict for the rest of her life, so be it.

"I function quite well taking the quantities I take. I do not take more than I need and I now work an average of 50 to 60 hours a week. ... I can clean my house, wash my car, garden, hike, do all the things I used to do.

"I'm very fortunate ... but so many of the people here (at Drugbuyers.com) are desperate for help," Cindy said. She insisted that the board is devoted to people like her who are suffering legitimate pain, not "addicts, looking to get high."

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