DrugBuyers.Com: Why not Valium?

IMO, after a loooong time on and off and on and off and on and off xanax, valium, and many others, I have to say that benzos are the devil. Not literally, but from my personal experience, and watching those around me who also take them, benzos have a way of seeming so completely innocent and "not a problem" until you run out, or try to quit and realize how AWFUL it is when your brain starts screaming for that medicine. I don't know which was worse for me, Xanax w/d or Ativan w/d. I suffered thru both before the internet and places like db.com where I learned to taper, etc. But even with tapering, it still is hard as you-know-what to stop them completely without anguish of some sort. I say they're the devil because they seem so innocent, you take your dose and you feel nothing special, just normal. Often though, especially with the benzos that hit the memory pretty hard (ativan KILLED my memory while I was on it) so you end up doing some stupid things, not even realizing how obvious you are to everyone else while the benzos keep you thinking that you're smooth as ice. Or, as it was with me with Ativan (and i've seen it happen to many others on different benzos), you take your dose, then 30 minutes later you find yourself sitting there wondering, "did I take my med or did I just mean to but forgot? I think I forgot. I'll take it now." So now you have a double-dose. Then a couple hours later basically the same happens.. did I take my morning meds? Shoot, I forgot. I'd better do that or i'll regret it... Next thing you know you're out of meds, have a built up tolerance that you never expected, and you're facing either a cold/turkey or a very expensive talk with an OP or a local doc, if you're lucky enough to have insurance & the $ for the visit. And can get a visit! I know folks who have gone to the emergency room in major xanax w/d, by that I mean 10-15mg daily then cold turkey, and the ER sending them home with 4 (!) 1mg xanax to solve the problem. Of course, someone who is used to 10 mg a day can't very well tolerate a drop from that to 4 little 1 mg pills.. but i've seen it happen more than a few times. It's truly frightening how uneducated so many "professionals" are when it comes to dealing with folks who have a benzo problem. Of course the drugs seem like a miracle when you first get prescribed them, but after a year or more all the joy and much of the effectiveness seems to fade and you're stuck with a dangerous tolerance to have to get rid of, and if you've not tried, believe me when i say that tapering from benzos is HARD, even if you are diligent and write your every single dose taken as a record to verify that you're gradually tapering. It's SO tempting to just take one more because you know your brain will calm down, your nerves will stop jangling, your body will stop shaking, your mind will stop running out of control, your adrenaline will calm down, etc etc etc. Valium taper worked for me in the past, but even then the 2 weeks after quitting my last dose (IIRC I was down to 2.5mg valium daily), those 2 weeks were up there in the top tier of 'worst times of my entire life'. 2 whole weeks which I can only describe as a bad acid trip that just won't go away, nay, it just gets worse for the first 6 or 7 days IME. After that it just hangs around for another week driving you (well, me anyway) nuts. And then when the worst is over, it's not uncommon for protracted w/d symptoms to hang around for months and months, or possibly worse, disappear and then reappear after a couple weeks, really confusing you because you thought it was finally over. "Good Luck* to anyone undertaking the quitting process. It can be done, i've done it many times. Right now though.... I certainly have a love/hate relationship with my meds...

L

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