DrugBuyers.Com: Am I in trouble?

I always appreciate this board and the members honesty.

First, I'm not a recreational user. Though, I have found the euphoria associated with my pain meds to be an added bonus. I have chronic lower back pain. Was stabbed twice in the lower back years ago and sustained permanent nerve damage as a result. I frequent a chiropractor, work out, stretch and am otherwise in pretty good shape. I just wake up every single day of my life with an all consuming back pain.

I have definitely over the last couple years built up my dosage. I'm very conscious of this. When I started I was taking HALF a 10/500 and a 15mg codeine tab and feeling awesome! Early on I decided to bundle the pain meds in hopes of not taking too much of one thing (specifically Hydro) and think somtimes that everything is ok. Like I said, I'm not a crazed pillhead running wild... yet. Everything in my life seems to be in order. Although I have to admit, I have been hiding this use from everyone I know, including my spouse. Years and years ago I was a party animal (booze and some coke) and quit have it all. Been "sober" 12 years. I have no interest at all in drinking, it's a bummer, and especially with all these pain meds (which I feel are far supierior for pain and mood anyway).

Lately I have woke up in pain and felt sort of, well, just uncomfortable with the fact that I really do NEED these pills to feel good. I guess that's what I'm starting to think about. You know, it's like, so now what? I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life? Of course the answer is no, and then you just start saying to yourself, "well today is as good as any to quit taking all this Best if kept off the board." Cause my use will inevitably increase. That's just the nature of this scenario.

I guess I'm just babbling and answering my own questions. But I truly treasure this board. Although my posts are few, I've been reading and gaining so much from the people here for a long time. It's comforting to hear other pain sufferers assure me all is not lost!

Thanks everybody.