DrugBuyers.Com: Where do I find the GRACE?!?

I am soooo sorry that this is happening to you. Been there - Maybe this will help...

I have two mostly wonderful sets of inlaws, Mom and stepdad and dad and stepmom...We all have problems with health. Mominlaw has crohns and needs a hip replaced. She takes 1/2 of a 5/500 and it knocks her out for the day (rarely gets them or takes anything) but ultram does nothing for her (thank god she's let me have a couple every now and then when I've been in a pinch). She understands the pain and resulting limitations from a failed back fusion that may have created some RA/lupus/fibro issue (still being tested) and even went out and bought a select comfort bed matress for the spare room at her house so that I could sleep when we go down 1-2 times a month (this is the air bed and I love mine!!!!!) (sorry for the plug but I can adjust it with the level of pain!) and even understood when I couldn't bare to get in the car for 5 minutes to go to work, let alone 1.5 hours to go down there - they came up and saw me (yes I love her!!!)

On the flip side, stepmom has a daughter that had fusion 4 months before mine and is also having the same problems. She, fortunately, has a better doc than I do who has her on the patches, along with percoset for breakthrough (allthough I think she is also taking hydro and whatever else she can get and does now have a problem, but the pain is real, just not well controlled). Stepmom thinks that taking anything is bad and that no one should take meds, except when she gets a kidney stone she wants her tylox, which I had never had until my stone and haven't had since. Let me clarify here - she has major back problems also, to the point of all she does is sit on the couch and watch TV. She won't go on vacation to see her husband's dying family becuase it will hurt (he also doesn't have much longer due to heart and uncontrolled diabetis). We have argued about meds and she has told me to "get a stiff upper lip, tough it out, and stop complaining!" Well, I told her this last time that may work for her, but it isn't controlling my pain, I'm 32 and deserve to live a normal life - including dancing, going to sports, taking trips, and enjoying my husband of less than 2 years, and that I would do anything to get that relief, especially since I know the pain won't ever go completely away, but I think after all of this I deserve to be at 3-4 rather than the 8-9 I live at. She finally huffed and puffed and said that I should go the the clinic that her daughter goes to because they will give me "whatever you want, no questions asked" (too bad it's not covered by insurance and 1.5 hours away, esp. since the pain mgt clinic here I can go to said that if I didn't want a nerve block then they couldn't help me because they don't prescribe meds (last proceedure they messed up and then told me to deal with it and they couldn't help me)). Believe you me I am looking into that clinic though.

Bottom line - be straight with her - tell her it's none of her business what you take or when or how much (unless she is actually handing them to you and also an MD), tell her you're glad that 3 a day works for her, but body chemistries are different, and she needs to stop talking about it. Then get the hubby to say the exact same thing to her. Then every time she starts again, say I thought we had discussed this and that this topic is inappropriate between us and change the subject. If she keeps coming back to it, tune her out and pick up a book or a puzzle (have a book or puzzle book available just for this occassion that you carry on you whenever she is around). Also the modified serenity prayer can be helpful ( you know the one about not having killed anyone today, but give you help when you get out of bed) - at least you have a good chuckle when the topic comes up.

Good luck. You have my prayers.

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Bronwyn