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brenda1231
Journeyman


Reged: 11/22/03
Posts: 52
Re: husband stoled my meds
      04/10/04 11:24 PM

Big Hugs Karma.

You deserve a Kudos for sticking with this man, and I am guessing that HE KNOWS IT.

The person that hit you was not and is not the one you are with now. It was the drugs and not him, it's wonderful you were able to help him beat the beast.

That said, I believe that sometimes we, as outsiders looking in, are quick to scream 'get out', or 'leave him', etc. in situations like these.
I have two reasons to believe that it is not always that cut and dry.

My husband of 11 years is a recovered cocaine addict. His 'coke fling' was several years before we met, and I never saw the person that he was, but I heard the stories. In his case, his first marriage fell apart less than a year into it, because he stopped the coke and she didn't.

Also, very few people know this; but my husband hit me about 6 months into our marriage. It was only once, but that was all it took.
Although he doesn't have an alcohol problem (now or then), alcohol was involved. I had him arrested that night, had his mom bail him out. At that time, I told EVERYONE from his parents to mine, what happened, and MADE HIM tell them as well.
We ended up working through this, he was not only very ashamed, but horrified that he hit me. It NEVER happened again.

I want to stress that my husband is the most ethical, honest and trustworthy man I know. He has stood by me...no CARRIED me, through some very bleak times, where many men would have bailed out.

The point being simply that it is not always black and white, and also that drugs, stress, alcohol, etc. often bring out the worst in people. Sometimes it takes seeing this side of themselves before they become motivated to change.

--------------------
Cheers,
B~

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* husband stoled my meds cotybear 04/08/04 09:28 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Caseyaly   05/05/04 04:03 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds debbie4884   05/05/04 04:45 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Thanatopium   05/13/04 12:44 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds dsack   05/15/04 12:38 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds mizzzj   05/05/04 03:11 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Helene   04/09/04 11:11 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds viper269   04/09/04 11:09 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lovepink   04/09/04 01:10 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Karma2678   04/10/04 09:14 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds brenda1231   04/10/04 11:24 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds yawkaw3   04/11/04 02:44 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds bucket   05/04/04 11:42 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Guzele   04/12/04 08:32 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds curious   04/13/04 12:14 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds brenda1231   04/09/04 01:40 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds viper269   04/08/04 10:48 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds wren   04/08/04 11:55 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds yawkaw3   04/09/04 02:20 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds wren   04/09/04 08:04 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lovely11   04/09/04 09:41 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds viper269   04/09/04 12:46 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds wren   04/08/04 09:59 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lastyls   04/09/04 12:13 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds orgart   04/08/04 08:57 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lastyls   04/08/04 09:18 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds drewsmerdel   04/08/04 11:50 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds yawkaw3   04/08/04 11:04 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds hunt1   04/08/04 10:50 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Princeton   04/08/04 10:33 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds cotybear   04/08/04 11:19 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds 2muchpain   04/08/04 02:20 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Greycie   04/08/04 03:09 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Princeton   04/08/04 07:24 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds dhc_60   04/08/04 07:07 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds cotybear   04/09/04 10:29 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds concerned1   04/15/04 02:16 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds wren   04/17/04 01:55 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds oldnavy170   04/15/04 02:59 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lttlbit   04/12/04 05:18 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds yawkaw3   04/09/04 10:42 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds drewsmerdel   04/09/04 11:51 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds oldnavy170   04/09/04 02:24 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lovepink   04/09/04 04:23 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds lastyls   04/09/04 05:10 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds BriarRoseCO   04/08/04 07:37 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds drewsmerdel   04/08/04 08:48 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds yawkaw3   04/08/04 12:05 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds hunt1   04/08/04 01:07 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Jordan530   04/08/04 12:48 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds Dyno   04/08/04 01:14 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds oldnavy170   04/08/04 02:10 PM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds kayleighbear   04/08/04 10:14 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds tray1   04/08/04 10:09 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds keystone   04/08/04 09:42 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds cotybear   04/08/04 10:12 AM
. * * Re: husband stoled my meds mermaid72000   04/08/04 10:02 AM

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