DrugBuyers.Com: husband stoled my meds

First of all Coty I am very sorry to hear about what happened. I really know what you are going through because I have been in a somewhat similar position. My husband and I have been together since I was 14 yrs. old I am now 25 and he had a drug problem when he was 18. He was addicted to cocaine different drug but same result. I had NO idea he was on drugs. I guess I was nieve, and just did not realize what was going on and what I was doing wrong to make this man that truely was the greatest, nicest, most easy going person, just act like a completely different person! He was violent at times with me and of course I just thought it was not that bad or I deserved it. Looking back at it I can see I should not have stood for it, and I should have left him. But, in my situation I did not really have to leave him becuase he was on drugs so bad he would not come home. He just stayed with the other people that did the drugs with him. I had no idea what was going on and when he did come home it was because I forced him to come see his child. I thought he was having an affair, or just hated me. Then when he did come home he would stay for a day or so then he would get his paycheck or get a phone call and would want to leave. I would beg him to stay and he would hit me, push me, or just leave me and my child in a public place with no ride home in dead winter! It was horrible and I was miserable and confused because I was trying to be such a great wife to him and nothing worked. We have a child and all I could remember was the person he was before and I knew if I tried hard enough I could change him back into that person. I couldn't, he was in love with the drug and it was the most important thing to him. It was like my child and I and his entire family did not exist anymore. I stayed with him and am with him now. But, I don't know if this is the answer for you because I don't know and noone knows what his next move will be. My husband admitted he had a problem. I guess he hit rock bottom. I don't know what made him decide to quit taking the drugs but he did. Now, when we talk about all of the horrible things he did it seems so unreal like a nightmare. He did change and has been the person I knew he could be for the last 5 years. So it is hard for me to tell you to just leave him, divorce him, because I realize now that a drug is such a powerful thing and it takes over you and makes you do things you would normally never do.
Now, I do believe that at this time while he has not stopped using the drugs it would be best to not get around him alone or in a way where he may become upset. I don't want for you to get hurt. He may never choose to not be an addict and it is not something you can choose for him. Trust me no matter what you do he must choose to change for himself. Before, you decide to stay with him he should get some help if he does not, you have no choice but to keep your distance from him. I really do believe that when times get tuff you should stick around and try to help, but not if helping him hurts you.
I don't know about the other story with the wreckless driving, I don't remember reading anything about it so I won't comment on it. Things in your life seem to be very chaotic right now. It probably would not hurt if you did not think about not being with him right now and thought about you. It seems like you may want to use this time alone in a good way and not just become depressed. What I did was created myself an identity. I have been with my husband since I was a teenager so my life was so centered around just him. It is really unhealthy to be that way because you must know that if something happens like this and it is time for you to go on your own. Your life just does not stop. That is what mine did at that time. I had to begin college, start back my dancing competitions, make some new friends and get a life that did not include him since he did not want to be in my life. Then when he did get the help he needed and I could just tell he was better really better not the same ol I am sorry it will never happen b.s. He came clean to me and told me what was going on and what he was doing to change going to NA, counseling, back to church. I could tell he was trying, I took a chance I knew maybe he would relapse, and I knew it would be a huge struggle and it was. But we did make it, I know it may be a one in a million chance and maybe his age at the time and his age know have something to do with it. Sorry this is so long but I just completely understand how loneyly and devestated you feel and how the advice you need to take is the last thing you want to do, when you are hurting you feel like it will be this way forever, but things can change if you make them change but only you can change you and he must change himself in his own time. Goodluck!

Blessed Be

--------------------
~~~ Karma ~~~

Edited by Karma2678 (04/10/04 10:05 PM)