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Purple, that's awful. I'm so sorry. I came to DB because of TMJ as well, and have encountered both sympathetic doctors in ER who have probably actually prescribed too strong meds, and the doctors (usually the specialists) who want to just prescribe flexeril, which for some reason makes me really anxious. Isn't it funny that the specialists always think their special bite guards are what will "fix" your problem? You know, the ones that cost like, $3000, and aren't covered by insurance? Or braces, that's my other favorite.
If you ever want to talk about TMJ, please PM me. I've been really, really lucky and after having constant pain, 24/7 for about 3 years, my pain is now almost down to about once a week, and even then it's managable with over-the-counter Iboprofen. So, I'm trying (scared though, of w/d's!) to wean myself off the 5/500's I've been taking 3x daily.
Anyway, I don't know what caused your TMJ or how bad your x-rays look, but after being diagnosed with a bunch of different causes, I have been able to manage mine with, oddly enough, singing lessons. I'm an opera singer and do voice-over work for radio, and have learned after seeing a voice disorder specialist and a great voice instructor that I really just need to re-learn how to use my jaw. But I'd be happy to discuss everything that helped me out, when it was really, really bad, that might tide you over until your next refill. I hope it's not as bad as you think it will be, and I hope that you're able to secure some Ultram in the meantime.
As for your brother-in-law - karma, man! It'll come back to him!
Hang in there Purple!