DrugBuyers.Com: Holiday, more like a four letter word

I have never taken hydro, but I do have quite a bit of experience with benzos and codeine. Guess I will "fess up" in this post and see if some of you have had similar experiences. About 15 years ago I had built up a pretty big tolerance for ativan and codeine (in cough syrup). I had been having anxiety and insomnia,and some panic attacks. I decided I was sick and tired of devoting so much time and money to keep up with my tolerance. I won't go into detail, but most of you will understand what I was doing.

Anyway, I decided to go cold turkey off everything. Within 24 hours I was a basket case. I guess I should have checked into rehab, but for various reasons did not do so. I had all the withdrawal symptoms, mental and physical: heart palpitations, totally unable to eat or sleep, suicidal thoughts, horrible mental thoughts, sensitivity to light and and all other stimuli, RLS, a feeling that literally every nerve in my body was totally exposed, a feeling that my head might explode. After about 48 hours of this, I knew I had to do something, so I went to my primary care doc and told him what was going on. He was fairly sympathetic and nonjudgemental, which I really appreciated. I felt such horrible guilt and shame at allowing this to happen. He gave me a low dose of a sedative (I don't remember what) to take the edge off. The worst part was over, but I continued to feel just horrible for several months. But I stuck to the low dosage sedative. Then I moved to another town and started with a new doctor. I told him my history. He and I both thought I needed something for the anxiety/insomnia/panic, so he put me on a fairly low dosage of a combination anxiety/depression med. The anxiety part is a benzo, but for several years, I have been able to maintain my low dosage and feel pretty decent. Then I moved again and my new doctor didn't want me "addicted" to the med, so he wouldn't prescribe it. I did not go through the horrible withdrawa I had before, but I did not do well. I had to miss some work, I was very irritable and a bunch of other unpleasant thigs. After about 3 months of this I went back to the same doc and told him how I felt. He reinstated the dosage I had come to him with and he has kept me at that dosage for about 4 years now.

I am doing fine, but I still have a very high tolerance for benzos. I know that because I have had several medical procedures done where I was sedated with one benzo or another. It takes a lot to sedate me. The doctors seems surprised that they can give me a lot of the sedative and I am still awake and fairly alert.

I don't know if this will help anyone or not. I have ordered a few meds, such as soma, from OPs, but I am very aware of the tolerance/dependence issue and do not want to ever go through that again.

I would not advise anyone to go cold turkey. I know this is a problem for all of us who need meds that cause tolerance and dependence.

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kmitch4