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rkjones
Member
Reged: 02/13/04
Posts: 159
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It is alright to agree to disagree here and no bad feelings intended but just my opinion here. I have had painc attacks since the age of 16. I am bipolar also as well as my aunt too. We are almost identical in our mental illness. I have been in therapy since the age of 9 as it was mandatory for me to remain in the public schools due to disruptive behavior. I weighed 83 lbs at age of 25 due to anorexia. I too have been put on every med imaginable and most did not work! I disagree that it can just go away if you want it to! That is Best if kept off the board as I had a therapist once tell me that life is like a steering wheel just grab a hold of it and your in control. NOT!I finally went through a research program and one that also studied the links in faily members. I have a chemical imbalance that I can not control by grabbing the steering whel so to speak. I have to take a mood stabilizer. I have to have an antidepressent also. I however do not need the xanax as proven when I was on the imipramine which stopped the panic attacks. My docotr now chooses to give me paxil and xanax which does not work for me and my problem. I now have the panic attacks again.
This is a chemical imbalance that is caused from the brain not something I can control with any amount of therapy! My doctors don't even sendme for therapy now as they know it is useless forme. I have been over my issues a hundred times! Just wanted to post my thoughts on my illness.
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Eeyore27
Board Addict
Reged: 07/05/04
Posts: 375
Loc: Where Misery loves Company U...
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RkJones,
I am so feeling you right now. I feel like one big, fat, fraud right now. I've dealt with some of the same issues as you, eating disorders, mental illness in my family, therapy, guinea pigged, etc.
I can sing the praises of Xanax until my eyes bleed, but there are times, like right now, where I just feel like I'm so defeated that no matter what I try to do to control these impulses and emotions, nothing is going to change. I'm going to get depressed again, I'm going to panic again, I'm going to question everything and analyze everything to death. And that's just how it is. There are times where I feel like I'm taking a ride on the express train to insanity and there's no way in hell that I'm ever going to be able to grab that wheel and steer it into the "right" direction. I don't know where all of this is coming from, but everything just started to hit me tonight, and as much as I love this board and all of the great people on it and their support and positive feedback, none of these people really know me, and as a matter of fact, I don't even think I know me anymore.
I'm sorry, I have no right to wallow in self-pity right now when there are other people who have it so much worse in life, but I just don't know why I can't seem to keep it together tonight.
~Eeyore
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~ R.I.P. Darrell Abbott 12/08/04
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rkjones
Member
Reged: 02/13/04
Posts: 159
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been where you are tonight. seems like life is just one big circle and you always come back to this right? Well, I have spent so many years it seems to just come right back to these feelings and it gets so old and sometimes feels like it is just hopeless. But I know it is hope cause I got well before! If you can just get a doctor to prescribe to you the old med )imipramine)that was made and used to treat millions with panic attacks and worked! I was off the xanax and for 5 years never had another one and I forgot what they even felt like! This from a person who knew how deep the river was as I was considering jumping in for a swim from the top of a bridge!I lived again for these 5 years but not to say that occasionally the depression got me but i was able to come back out of it. It was a miracle med and for the life of me don't know why he took ,e off of it. I was buying it online but thought I should try his way but it just isn't working. I have insommia too and never sleep so I am tired from being up all night most of the time. I sleep maybe an hour then wake up! The impipramine makes you sleepy too if taken in one dose at bedtime. I think I am just going to put myself back on it so I can stop this madness again!
Don't give up eeyore, you are not alone out here! I am here and you can lean on me when you are feeling down! Heck maybe I can lean on you sometime too. We can get through this and find a better day and maybe be able to smile sometimes too! I look over those who don't really understand that for many of us the steering wheel is beyond our reach, I don't need therapy to tell me where to steer as I don't think I was born with that steering wheel! If i had one I surely know where to turn it. I hope that you feel better later but if not drop me a line or two! I would love to get toknow you! It is not so scary when you know someone else is standing with you in your shoes! Of course we may need a bigger pair! 
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Eeyore27
Board Addict
Reged: 07/05/04
Posts: 375
Loc: Where Misery loves Company U...
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Quote:
I hope that you feel better later but if not drop me a line or two! I would love to get toknow you! It is not so scary when you know someone else is standing with you in your shoes! Of course we may need a bigger pair!
Thanks rkjones. I'm feeling better today. I guess it's all the same with everyone here, we all have good days, and we all have not so good days, and then some of us have really bad days. I like your comment about needing bigger shoes to stand in, for some reason, that sounded very profound to me. It just made me think about the people who have it worse than I do, and their shoes must be pretty darn big!! So thanks for putting that in perspective for me.
I do appreciate all the people on the board who have lent their ears and given feedback, and I try to help as much as I can when someone asks me a question about something I can relate to with them, and even if I can't, I at least try to offer some sort of support. I don't know where I was last night. My monthly visitor is here, so I think that might be why I was feeling so low, as that always seems to have an effect on me hormonally, which just peaks the stress level a bit. Thank you very much for your reply, like I said, this board really is great, and there are a lot of great people here, like you 
~Eeyore
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~ R.I.P. Darrell Abbott 12/08/04
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sunflower29
Member
Reged: 04/13/04
Posts: 147
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I think I should be the one getting paid to see the egomaniac who grants me the grace of his presence every month or so.
Wow, do they ever get their noses out of joint if you don't play the part of docile patient, and actually have an opinion, challenge them in any way, or ask THEM a a probing quesiton for a change.
Talk about defense mechanisms!
Unfortunately as part of my counselling sessions with a therapist, I have to touch base with a psychiatrist every so often, and see him if I want any medication prescribed.
Oh, the price to be paid for a little clonazepam!
Why do I let these creeps reduce me to tears? How does a stranger who knows only a few details about my life, feel he can essentially mind f*** me for an hour? The guy didn't appreciate that I actually have a mind of my own, and refuse to bow down at the altar of his wisdom, so he gets all passive aggressive on me. He really doesn't like me at all, it's so obvious, and maybe he feels threatened. It was disturbing to experience, but now that I'm writing about it, I feel more amused than anything because I don't have to let these clowns get to me. I can just use them to get what I need, and not let them mess with my head anymore.
I received better therapy from an elderly lady waiting at the bus stop after my session. 
What's not amusing is when I think about the people who are seriously mentally ill and vulnerable and put their faith in people like him. It's frightening the power they have. But I won't allow this person to get to me. It's obvious he doesn't really want to help me. He's offended that I won't take the meds he wants me to take, and that I don't look up at him all doe-eyed. I mean, he's just a person, with his own set of neuroses, like we all have. But he won't relate to me on that level. He wants to be looked up to, and be regarded as all-knowing doctor. I've never seen such an obvious inferiority complex. But then I guess they're always getting the "so then you're not a REAL doctor" from the real doctors.
And there's a good reason for it!
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treezat
Journeyman
Reged: 05/22/04
Posts: 50
Loc: southeast US
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I am sorry I did not get through all of these posts, there is alot of good information and feedback in here. I have alot of experience with friends with panic attacks and panic disorders, as well as various other mental disorders and conditions. I have lived in a state psychiatric facility. I have been through rehab. I have worked with scientists at Johns Hopkins Bayview medical center. I have worked with NIMH. I have worked with medical students from University of Maryland. After much discussion and thorough oberservation which still continues, it is apparent that our endoriphin systems as well as thought patterns and diet all need to be balanced, and are all related. western medicine is popular to cover up the symptom of the problem without ever treating the source of the issue. doctors prescribing drugs and not offering sound advice or guidance, are far mroe dangerous then handing a child a gun. If you wish to be free from panic and anxiety, You are your best weapon, and only YOU can cure your problem. However, there is alot of help if you have the desire to be well and the will to look in the right places. I hope this helps you start :
SSRI is useless unless you have placebo efect from it. Most of the panic attack comes from the builup of anxiety, which comes from letting your mind worry. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do for a while, but it never gets you anywhere.
In order to beat panic attacks and anxiety you will need several tools and steps, and unfortunately despite your overwhelming desire, it cannot be done all at once. It will take time and effort. The First tool is cns depressant for calming an attack, this should be xanax valium klonopin etc. dont use too much or youll get addicted and make your anxiety disorder worse. Or you can use the natural ammeno acid your body uses for cns depression called GABA
The REAL tool above all else here is PAYING ATTENTION to your thought patterns. Right now you dont and they run their normal patterns causing issues, generally due to poor diet and lack of endorphins. Eventually you hit something that stirs up deep trama fear or emotion and you are suddenly and voilently forced to pay full attention and unable to draw your attention away. Doesnt that just suck so bad? It doesnt have to always be that way. You can get the tools you need to begin your fight against the fear. you need to balance the endorphins in your body/brain. for paying attention aids, stimulant medicines help alot for this, but can also be addicting and euphoric. you will need to check out meditation and calming your mind, dismissing most of what used to send you into an uncotrolled panic attack, without so much as a second thought on it. Eventually tapering off the chemicals and just giving your body needed ammeno acids.
When you take meds that make you feel good, like xanax or ritalin, you feel so free from your anxiety that you forget in your moment of freedom to face down the source of the anxiety while you have the strength. Its so much easier to enjoy the chemically granted freedom. but it doesnt last, you and I both know this. It doesnt last because the stimulated or depressed endorphins resume theyre previous patterns when the meds wear off. balance the endorphins and cure the problem. Meditation will aid your body in naturally changing the neurological pathways, they have done studies at NIMH on it you can research it.
You will need to give your body fuels for essential endorphin production in the brain so that the edorphins it really needs to focus and be free from fear are always present. seritonin is thought to be the primary endorphin. thus all the SSRI therapy. It is my personal belief that all endorphins play an essential and key role, as do all ammeno acids, and thus balancing all systems instead of focusing on one is far more effective, albiet a little tricker.
want to know what really works? ammeno acids vitamins good diet and herbal supplements in combination with chemical therapy at first slowly tapering off the chemicals. And if possible physical activity and excersize.
go to : http://www.iherb.com/health.html and lookup your disorder. various treatments include :
5HTP (naturally used to increase seritonin production)
St. Johns Wort (natural SSRI)
GABA (natural version of VALIUM, CNS depressant)
SAMe (dopamine/norepeniphrine production, liver detoxification, and clinically proven mroe effecive then most prescribed anti-depressants)
personally i realize that my diet is poor and the food in the us inst very healthy, so i take ALOT of ammeno supplements. but after a while it really works you feel so much better, and when you combine it with meditation and moderate use of chemical medicines it really seems to be effective.
hope it helps somebody. feel free to PM me. be well
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--Treezat (HiPpY)
~~Peace on your journey to wellness. Share all medicine and knowledge thereof~ for what you give is what you get. Be well, may you find peace and relief.
Edited by treezat (08/25/04 12:01 PM)
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sunflower29
Member
Reged: 04/13/04
Posts: 147
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Is it alright to mix medications like opiates and benzos with high doses of vitamins, amino acids and herbal products?
I realize a lot of the pharmaceutical companies want to frighten consumers about possible drug interactions because they'd rather we spend our money on their medications, but apparently there have been reports of interactions, sometimes deadly between herbal medications and psychiatric drugs, particularly the older anti-depressants.
But what about benzos and opiates? Are you helping your body out by giving it lots of extra vitamins and nutrients and liver detoxifying herbs like milk thistle or will they come back and bite you in the arse?
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