lovely11
Board Addict
Reged: 01/03/04
Posts: 338
Loc: With my dog at my side
|
|
If you can't say the word no, another option would be "I wish I could." I was one of those and saying no was impossible. A friend suggested I use the term I just mentioned, which is not as harsh as no and it relieves the guilt one might feel just by saying no.
I wholeheartedly agree with the others in that you MUST take care of yourself. Throw that martyrdom syndrome out with yesterday's garbage, grab your self-esteem by the neck, determine what you can tolerate on your plate and don't stand for anything more to be added. I've been where you are. I won't go back. NEVER! The stress of it all nearly killed me. I had to learn the hard way but more importantly, I learned!!! You can too.
--------------------
Lovely - devout dog lover
I wish I were half as good as my dog thinks I am.
|
PlyrLacy
Enthusiast
Reged: 12/29/01
Posts: 242
Loc: Mid-Atlantic, USA
|
|
"No" is an excellent word and one which is so under-used! LOL! I have problems with that one myself. 
The basis behind most OPs it to help supply medication which you have USED BEFORE, and not to try for the first time. There are too many risks. Searching an anti-anxiety med is dangerous without first having had used it under the supervision of a doc.
I'd think you would have a healthy education regarding medications as a paramedic. And it would seem that this advice is something you would stay to a patient of your own. And as you know, from your profession, using medication is a serious business.
I agree with many of the posters in this thread. Always try to solve the problems without drugs. Exercise and walking is an excellent way to relieve stress and induce good sleep. Local health clinics offer low or no cost services and are sometimes connected with pharmacies for the medication. What good is a doc visit if you cannot afford the meds offered, right?
A general checkup with necessary testing will give you a better idea why you are so close to the edge. Once armed with that information, you will have a positive direction to begin your treatment, and the confidence knowing you are correctly treating this problem. Or, better yet, comfirm that some general stress relief will be effective helping you feel more like you! 
Good luck to you. I will keep you in my prayers and do remember to let us know how you are doing!
Best wishes,
--------------------
"Lacy"
Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.
|
yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
|
|
Bernie,
Here's a great link from my bookmarks that explains the connection between various thyroid problems and symptoms of depression/anxiety/what-have-you: http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/cohendepression.htm
Worth taking a look around, they do make home thyroid test kits, but you're better off going to a clinic, explaining the symptoms to your doctor, and letting him make the decision. Take care of your head first, there's no price you can put on mental health, IMO.
Then after you find a med regimen that works to make your life a bit more tolerable (don't wait until you're at your wits end and you HAVE to do something, do it now and save yourself the stress), whether the meds are thyroid meds, benzos, or antidepressants...you really should try some kinda therapy. This board is great for venting, but real progress is made with a GOOD shrink (I've seen bad ones, and I've seen absolutely amazing ones where every session was profound- that's the kind I needed, some people can get by just with someone who listens to their problems and can present unique perspectives).
But really, take care of your head first, very important, spare no expense.
Whether or not you have a problem with the word "no" or not is only something you really know. If you have free time, volunteering your time to help others is wonderful. It only becomes a problem when people get used to it and make excessive demands (and people like that are scum, to take advantage of a truly good person- don't do favors for them, do favors for your friends who you know have a good heart).
But it sounds like you've got a lot to deal with...get to a doctor to see what meds you can get, or just do an OP consult and get some Ativan just to keep around for bad days or when you need to relax. May not be the long-term solution for you, but it does work. IMO, psych meds should always be followed up with therapy, but that's just my own thinking, a lot of people here just care about the meds.
Take care- feel free to PM me, we've talked before, whether it's just to vent or you need advice- I'll be glad to help should you want it.
-yawkaw
|
bernie131
Member
Reged: 09/17/03
Posts: 112
|
|
I called my doc after court today and asked him to give me something to get by for awhile before I go balistic and he said he would call me in something to last until I see the Neurosurgeon in late March. I didn't even ask what, I just said I don't want something that makes me even MORE tired and sleepy during the day. Well, ... of course I have been too busy to go get the prescription so maybe I will have time tommorrow. He prescribed me Antivan about 10 years ago when I lost my mom and baby sister. We would get regular couseling(critical Incident Stress Syndrome) from being a Paramedic and dealing with losses, personnel and otherwise.
My mind wants my body to do what I used too and it cannot anymore. I belonged to the YMCA for 15 years to stay strong to handle the physical aspects of being a Firefighter also, but after getting the Flesh Eating Bacteria my world has changed once again with daily intense pain SO....you just keep on, keep'in on. I KNOW I should start saying NO more but it is so hard when it is helpless animals and kids. I wish I had time for a chiroprator, therapist(mental & massage) but finances and time keep flying by.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advise. I will TRY to do them all.(when I get time)ha!
Bernadette
--------------------
survivor
|
hilarylp
Member
Reged: 07/06/02
Posts: 106
Loc: Corporate Droneville
|
|
Bernie,
Re-reading your original post and seeing you had suffered from the flesh-eating bacteria reminded me of a friend I made when I was still in active patient care. His name was Larry. He had been a very active young man (in his mid-40's) and checked into a local hospital one day for a routine outpatient procedure. Prior to being discharged, he received an intramuscular injection of Demerol. Well, within a number of a few days, he noticed skin lesions around the injection site that would not heal. As more time went on, the lesions grew...make a long story short, he ended with a strain of strep-B that ate his skin, subcutaneous tissue, and fascia from his waist to both ankles. When I took care of him (at a different hospital from where he had the procedure) and did his very extensive dressing changes, he looked like a muscle illustration from an anatomy/physiology text. It was amazing from a clinician's standpoint-an experience that I was very lucky to encounter. Larry was such an awesome patient, he would let me bring students in with me to do the dressing changes because he knew what an incredible learning experience this was. Through the hard work by him (along with what seems to have been a lot of finger-crossing by the doctors and nurses while hoping for the best), along with his strong, ever-present belief in a higher power, he finally healed and after almost a year, was discharged to a local rehab center. At that time, he was the ONLY person to have survived an infection with this particular strain of this bacteria and to my knowledge, still is.
The last time I encountered him, he had completed rehab and had moved to another state and was able to work again. Of course, his stamina was much lower and he was unable to sit, stand, or lay down for very long because his lower extremities, buttocks were nothing but healed skin grafts over muscle; no subcutaneous tissue (fat, etc-"padding") to cover the muscle under the skin. He's doing very, very well now.
Ok, so you are asking...what the H##L does this have to do with me? Well, I'm not sure. It's just that you reminded me of him. His situation was dire, he was on the absolute verge of death and the power of positive thought and love for life kept him from giving up. I'm sure that there are patients that have left a lasting impression on you while you were in healthcare. You saw people at their absolute worst and you were there to help them and comfort them. Use that same compassion and caring to take care of your most important patient.
Sorry, I hope that wasn't just a rambling mess, but I wanted to get the thoughts down before they flew right out of my head. I hope you are doing well today. I'm here to lend a cyber shoulder if you need it! 
--------------------
hilarylp
|
KBlues
Member
Reged: 11/14/02
Posts: 105
Loc: East Coast
|
|
That was a nice read, hilarylp. Thanks for sharing that story. Makes me want to stop complaining all the time about my problems.... 
|
Purple
Enthusiast
Reged: 07/15/03
Posts: 233
Loc: Midwest
|
|
I agree with D2003 & hilarylp -
I was going to post the same exact things they said in their posts. I used to be like you but learned to say NO and I got my life back and able to take care of ME. Take their advice, they are totally correct. Good Luck.
|
zoe11
Journeyman
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 87
Loc: Other side of the moon
|
|
Gosh Bernie -- you have so much on your plate. SAY NO!!!! My goodness. Take care of you. People will go on, but you need to care for you otherwise you're going to collapse.
Ampitriphiphiline (sp?) made me so sleepy as does soma. You probably would be better off with a low dose ativan instead of the other meds. to get you through this tough stop.
z
|
bernie131
Member
Reged: 09/17/03
Posts: 112
|
|
Wow, that is very much my situation. I had outpatient surgery to correct a septate uterus and got Necrotizing Fasciitis(flesh eating bacteria) Strep A and had eight debridements of my abdomen and almost didn't make it either. I was left wide open from above the umbilicus down to the symphysis pubis and Ilium to Ilium, took four months to grow back together, had to pack wet to dry dressings with Dakins solution 3xday. VERY Painful and miserable time BUT had to feel lucky to be alive. Had a Vicryl mesh but loss allot of muscle and integrity which makes my L5,S1 degenerated disc very painful. Lost my job as a Paramedic because of it and now have no insurance. Did your friend prove he got NF from the Hospital or surgery? I am trying to sue but I keep getting "it's a hard case to prove that I got it during surgery since it was an outpatient surgery. Thanks for sharing.
BK
--------------------
survivor
|
lardaman
Banned: flame wars, insults, offending others
Reged: 08/14/02
Posts: 244
|
|
Carefull you guys. This guy (nnmmddd) is clearly a schill for medicinesinter.com. Avoid this place. check the international list.
Lar
|
uga81
Enthusiast
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 223
Loc: North Georgia
|
|
You have a lot going on! Some of it is called "life" and some of it is called "inability to say 'NO'". Bernie, sometimes you have to say no. It's not a bad word. It can save your mind and life.
If you do have to take some type of med for the anxiety you might want to try Clonodine/Catapress. It lowers the heart rate and helps alleviate hypertension. Clonodine is also non-addictive and an analgesic. Clickdrugstore has a good price. Don't over do them! Start with a half and go from there.
Also, try to get alone and not think of all your responsibilities. Take a day each week just for your self. Lounge around and don't do anything you don't want to do. Keep your mind busy on other things. Learn something new during this time. Believe it or not, you will start to see a clearer picture of your circumstances.
One more thing. Don't be afraid to tell people what you think and need. If your siblings want something then they have to take your Dad for your day off. Be a little hard nosed and dominant. You'll be amazed how taking control will help reduce the stress.
Best to you in this time of need.
Prayers are with you!
Barney
--------------------
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you are stupid." John Wayne
|
night_shade
Threadhead
Reged: 08/26/03
Posts: 907
Loc: The State of Hockey
|
|
I guess I am slightly bothered by the recommendation for clonidine/Catapres in this and many other situations I read on the board.
This is a reality check. Clonidine is a BLOOD PRESSURE medication and can be dangerous (even deadly) if not used properly. I've never heard of it being prescribed for anxiety. It is prescribed for opiate withdrawal because opiate withdrawal causes an increase in blood pressure.
I'm sorry, but I believe this is just one of those meds better left for doctors to prescribe after examining a patient and reviewing their current meds and health conditions.
--------------------
Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
|
uga81
Enthusiast
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 223
Loc: North Georgia
|
|
So you suggest a Benzo which is highly addictive or do you just want to flame? Which is it?
As stated: "Don't over do them! Start with a half and go from there."
So you diagnosed it as anxiety and not hypertension?
It is being recommended for ADHD and other anxiety, high stress situations. http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/disorders/medications.shtml#Clonidine
Barney
--------------------
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you are stupid." John Wayne
|
phinny
Enthusiast
Reged: 04/09/02
Posts: 247
Loc: Canada
|
|
Uga81, a flame war is an absolute waste of time and counterproductive. This website has has its flame wars, but for the most part, it is people helping people that has been its operating principle - its MO. Keeping that in mind, I have no doubt you had Bernie's best interests in mind when you suggested Clonidine for anxiety control. We differ in opinion, which should spark intelligent discussion or debate, not threats of flames. I have to agree with Moonshade here - the benzodiazepines are probably the most effective and safest anxiolytics available to us, considering the health risk of their precursors, the barbituates. Clonidine or Catapres is a very dangerous drug by comparison, even when talking about "half a pill" and so on. As we've already determined, it is a BP medication, and should not be used as an anxiolytic, particularly when self-medicating, which I can say with a high degree of confidence that most people who come here are doing. As far as the addictive potential of the benzodiazepines, this should always be given serious consideration - it should not be an issue if we are talking about a couple months use to get over acute-type crises, for example detoxing from opioids. Addiction to benzos becomes closer to reality when one leans on them for extended periods of time because they can't handle the daily stressors of life.
Bernie, this is a site to help find reliable sources of legitimate medication, but I strongly recommend other routes for control of your current situation. Benzos are often the first thing people grab for to control stress in their lives. To coin an old phrase, "You ain't seen nothin' yet" fits well here when the day comes when you try to detox from benzodiazepines (valium, klonopin, ativan, others that have been mentioned here.) I've heard it described once by a friend of mine who's life was nearly destroyed by this drug - "It's a soft drug with a hard detox." The grogginess typically wears off over time, and you may find life will be easier to handle once you get use to the sedative effects. Your life will go to hell very quickly when you try to detox from these babies. I don't think this is the answer for you. Further to this, you may find it hard to find a doctor who would be willing to support a plan that includes long-term usage of these drugs. They are out there, but they are starting to see the negative effects of long term usage of the benzos, and are less apt to prescribe them than, say a decade or so ago.
PS - sorry for my long posts. I haven't been online for a while and I'm feeling chatty.
|
bernie131
Member
Reged: 09/17/03
Posts: 112
|
|
Thanks everyone. My doc gave me Ativan and I only used 1 prescription and I still take Amitriptyline and Soma and Hydro(but out of). I still hurt alot but I quit answering the phone and "wished" no one would answer the door. I feel a whole lot better(anxiety)but still in quite a bit of physical pain but I keep on truck'in, just alittle slower at times. Thanks everyone for all your advice and concerns.
--------------------
survivor
|
night_shade
Threadhead
Reged: 08/26/03
Posts: 907
Loc: The State of Hockey
|
|
A difference of opinion is not a flame. Nowhere on your link does it say Catapres/Clonidine is suggested as an anti-anxiety med...and where it IS mentioned, it says "The use of these drugs in children is off label. Safety in children has not been established"...and this isn't a CHILD with ADHD we are talking about.
I NEVER suggested a benzo at all. I simply said Clonidine was best left to doctors to prescribe due to it's inherent dangers. And I also never made a "diagnosis." Again, I suggested a DOCTOR do so.
In addition, Clonidine is contraindicated in patients receiving amintriptyline. Bernie is using amitriptyline.
Not a flame at all...just a concerned counter-point.
--------------------
Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
|
indiacat
Stranger
Reged: 04/27/04
Posts: 8
Loc: Sunny California
|
|
Your story sounds SOOOOOOOOOOO familiar! Believe it or not depression/anxiety can have any number of physical manifestations, one of which is pain. When they (FINALLY) got my depression meds straightened out I was amazed how much of my pain cleared up. I strongly urge you to find some type of low-income/community treatment facility. Self medicating for stress and tension like you are going through can really backfire and cause even MORE irritability. I wish you luck and peace. Please know that you are not alaone and that there is help available. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to ask for help. Remember what an amazingly strong person you are and don't let them brush you aside. We are mothers, we need love and caring too.
|
bernie131
Member
Reged: 09/17/03
Posts: 112
|
|
Yes I did call my doc and I am sincerely grateful for the warm and caring responses of everyone that took so much time to offer me a shoulder and advice, it is good therapy just to know someone understands and are there for me for support, especially people that don't even know me but care about what I am going through, men and women. I did call my doc and it helped me thru a very "down" phase and it defiantely felt better to read all the kind responses. I don't know how to properly thanks everyone for their concerning responses and feedback and experiences. Thank all you very caring and wonderful people.
I will keep ALL of you in my prayers for all of us are suffering one way or another.
Thanks!!!!!
--------------------
survivor
|
buey
Old Hand
Reged: 01/15/03
Posts: 453
Loc: USA
|
|
I am curious about something. I have read very often about how bad it is detoxing from benzos. What exactly are the problems getting off benzos? I have read that a person can have seizures, but not much else.
I am generally stressed to the point of wanting to choke the Best if kept off the board out of someone. I was given a prescription for Xanax, but seldom use it. I have an almost full bottle dated from 2003. It makes me tired, and I just can't afford to be dragging all the time. I agree with the poster who suggested exercise. For me, it is the best stress reducer and it's also just plain good for the body. The only side effects are good ones. I wish I had more time to exercise, but I try to power walk at least 3 days a week for a couple of miles, sometimes I make it 4 days a week. I used to work out 6 days a week, an hour each time, and it actually reduced the frequency, duration and pain level of my migraines. It's the only thing that has, and I have tried a slew of drugs to prevent them. I just don't have the time to work out like that anymore, which is a shame, because of the benefits.
But back to my original question. What happens when a long time benzo user tries coming off benzos? Just curious.
Bernie, I feel for you. I hope you find the help you need to feel better.
|
IMSUSCOT1
Threadhead
Reged: 10/23/02
Posts: 895
Loc: usa
|
|
Anxiety, as described medically is a feeling of being anxious with no specific cause or origin....you have lot's of reasons to be anxious and if you blunt those feelings, I'm not sure it will help in the long run....I would encourage you to seek out community recources...establish yourself with a church that may have volunteers to lend you a hand, give you respite care for your father, i.t. DO SOMETHING about what is making you anxious...cuz clearly without taking some form of action to change your situation, you're only going to get more & more depressed & stressed...JMHO
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit 
Reply 
Quote 
