 |
sigmund22
Member
Reged: 03/23/04
Posts: 160
|
|
Balancing Act
Teaching Kindness
Posted 05/12/2004
James R. Dykes, MD
My wife has a card posted on our refrigerator door. It reads: "My true religion is kindness," a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk. As I ponder what is important in the education of our healers, this quote stands out.
I know in part that my education as a physician began as a patient. At the age of 14, I developed a very severe case of acne vulgaris, which not only affected my face, but expressed its aggressive graffiti on my back, chest and arms as well. I was taken to a dermatologist's office. When I took off my shirt, the doctor frowned, stepped back, looked away and appeared annoyed. He said: "With a case of acne like that, you won't qualify for the military." I felt ashamed, isolated, afraid and angry. He prescribed an assortment of soaps, ointments and antibiotics, and dismissed me. The treatments were not helpful.
A year or so later, my acne now much worse and secondarily infected with staphylococcus, creating a widespread disfiguring infection that caused considerable pain and embarrassment, I was taken to a second dermatologist's office. When I removed my shirt, he stepped toward me and put his hands on my shoulder, despite the open, crusted, oozing sores. He said in a warm, reassuring tone, "I see how much you are suffering. I think I can help you get over this." I felt a kind of warmth inside me, which I now know to be the relief that accompanies hope. He prescribed a similar course of treatment to the first doctor, but this time I healed.
I wonder now about the education of these two doctors. How was it different? How was it the same? How could both be certified specialists in the same field and approach my illness so differently? Is it simply a matter of personality differences? I don't know.
I ultimately completed a four-year course of study at Duke University School of Medicine. My education - like yours - was characterized by academic rigor, long hours, attention to detail and the highest standards of medical care. We wore white coats, studied hard, read the latest journals and went without sleep when necessary.
We were taught to be "objective," to consider the pertinent signs and symptoms of an illness without an emotional response. We were trained to do potentially painful procedures on patients without letting our feelings for the patient interfere with our work. The result of this was to make us feel special, aloof, emotionally cool and distant.
Now I teach Duke medical students. I tell them that although "objectivity" is important in the practice of medicine, it is often misunderstood. When the great physician Sir William Osler (1849-1919) wrote his treatise on the importance of "objectivity," he used the Latin term "aequinimitas," which can be translated as equanimity.[1] To practice with equanimity, we must cultivate inner peace.
I teach my students that medicine is a service, a sacred service in my opinion. I teach them the value of listening not only with our ears, but with our hearts, being ever mindful not to lose sight of the innocence and the wholeness of those we serve. I teach the value of kindness.
I hope the students who have spent time with me will turn into physicians who embody the qualities of the second dermatologist I saw as a scared and scarred adolescent. Ultimately, it is kindness that heals our deepest wounds.
Fam Pract Manag 11(4):82, 2004. © 2004 American Academy of Family Physicians
sigmund22

|
IMSUSCOT1
Threadhead
Reged: 10/23/02
Posts: 860
Loc: usa
|
|
I appreciate the post! I think that doctors, after seeing thousands of patients, lose sight of the human condition....we become a 5 minute problem in their day...they may care very much while we are there in front of them...but in 15 minutes the next patient is ushered in & has a whole new set of problems....
As a nurse, I can tell you I've learned SO MUCH by being on the "other side of the stethescope"...I have always believed nurses (and doctors) are the patient's advocate, and sometimes their only voice in the medical community....but I see how it feels to have your medical providers "forget" pertinent and very important details regarding your condition and care...and when they have so many, demanding so much, I understand too, how difficult it is to attend to all their needs...I'm dealing with this problem now & it's so frustrating....managed care demands that physicians take on so many patients to make costs that it's no wonder they have difficulty managing to sheer numbers of patients demanding their time. Then insurance companies place so many barriers to obtaining necessary care...authorizations, limited drug formularies....I don't know what the answer is....if someone has a solution, I'd sure be interested in hearing it....
Meanwhile, each of us, must become such a strong self advocate....and sometimes that means demanding the physician look at what our disease does to our life...as hard as that is..it is the only solution...and not always a satisfactory one..as the results are so often unsatisfactory. OP's have been a resource for so many, and now it appears even they are threatened. So what is the answer? It appears it will all get worse before it ever gets better...
|
Pickledoo
Board Addict

Reged: 09/20/02
Posts: 389
Loc: New England
|
|
I recently had to see my pcp due to a severe flare up. By the time I was in the exam room I was in tears....literally. The intake nurse was kind and sympathetic. My pcp didn't even acknowlage I was in tears. He ordered another set of x-rays and gave me some nsaids. 2 weeks prior, his PA had given me 7.5/500, 30 cnt. The PA said he has patients who will be on these meds for life and stated he thought all the fear and wholier than thou attitudes of some drs. were ridiculous. My pcp only gave me a lecture about addiction. Forget that I was in so much pain I was sobbing like a 2 year old.
Thank goodness for OP's!
Just a little story.....
|
Helene
Journeyman
Reged: 02/26/04
Posts: 97
Loc: Pennsylvania
|
|
Thank you for the beautiful post. I haven't been around long, but I always look for, and enjoy yours.
|
sigmund22
Member
Reged: 03/23/04
Posts: 160
|
|


Pickle,
So sorry you had to go through this painful experience (in more ways than one). Your doctor's could have acknowledged your pain and tears with a gentle pat or taking your hand and it would have made all the difference in the world.
Have you been going to your PCP for a while and do you believe that you could talk to him openly and honestly about the needs of chronic pain patients? Some PCPs just don't know and don't keep up with the medical journals.
If you can't trust this PCP, you might ask friends for recommendatins for a different doc who is more compassionate or and/or would refer you to a pain management specialist in the event he is concerned about the crackdown on over-prescribing. The best source of finding a compassionate doc is through friends, support groups and asking around.
I didn't mean to imply that you should find a different doc - one of the best possible worlds. If you're satisfied/comfortable with the doc supplemented by OPs, that's fine; however, you shouldn't have to be treated unkindly.
Again, so sorry you went through this
Take good care.
sigmund22
|
|
|
 |