DrugBuyers.Com: UPDATE Y'ALL!!!

I'm brimming with tears!

I've got to tell you all, my doc had me thinking...no believing, that I only had 10 years to live, 15 max! I mean, this is what me and my family were preparing for. Oh, the emotions we've all gone through. How heartwrenching!

I must admit that it was pretty difficult for me to want to get to know new people and become close with others. This is one of the reasons I felt so blessed by this messageboard, because I felt I had no worries about the people here, that everyone could probably understand and it was easier to express myself. But in person, up close and personal, that was a bit scary for me. The thought of rejection because of my virus and the stigma that's attached to it, kind of like AIDS. Like I must have been a heroin junkie to have gotten it, etc., etc. There are numerous ways I could have contracted it, and I certainly wasn't a saint, but I wasn't a junkie shooting dope and sharing needles. And, unfortunately, my little girl contracted it from me during her birth. She didn't do anything wrong, so what will people think of her when she gets older? (As of now, my little one's Hep C is inactive and not affecting her liver. Thank God!) But part of growing close to people is opening ourselves up and I didn't want to make myself vulnerable, so I put up one heck of a front with people. I became so thick skinned, only revealing my true self to my loved ones and those who I knew would not judge, like you wonderful people here.

You know what's odd? After I was first diagnosed with Hep C, I felt it was my duty and obligation to tell everyone I came in contact with that me and my child have Hep C. I thought it was their right to know and be able to make their own decision if they wanted to form a friendship with people they thought that they might get infected by. I also wanted to educate people, too. Well, one thing is for sure, I've been with my husband for 15 years and we're intimate and he's never been infected. That ought to tell others just how difficult it is to contract this virus by casual contact and such.

To answer your question, night shade, yes, I was on Peg-Intron and Rebetol treatments for only 7 out of the 12 months I was supposed to be on it. Actually, I think it was supposed to be 11 months. My body couldn't take it. Oh, the things my body and mind went through!

I lost a dramatic amount of weight, couldn't eat, had the body and mucles aches real bad, fevers, hair loss, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, severe insomnia and fatigue, if you can figure that one out! I had anxiety so bad and I literally felt like I was going out of my mind. I was severely depressed, irritable, easily agitated, had strange mood swings, and if I had owned a gun, I would probably be locked up right now. One of the side effects it warns you about is that the medication can make one suicidal and/or homicidal! Can you believe that? So once a week I would get a friendly call from a nurse on behalf of the pharmacutical company and they'd ask all sorts of questions about how I was doing. I had become dangerously anemic as well, so the Rebetol had to be reduced and I had to introduce a little iron back into my body. It was he!! and I finally told my doctor that I couldn't take it anymore. I believe I was on 13 different medications to try to counteract the side effects of this and that. That's when I became addicted to Xanax.

When I was withdrawn from treatments, I didn't think I would any longer need all of the other meds so I flushed everything. About a day and a half later, the withdrawals started. Fortunately, I found a very compassionate doctor in the ER who treated me and helped wean me from the Xanax. He was very patient and he'd even tell me, "If you feel you can't reduce anything this week, I'll understand." I'd tell him, "No, this has to be done and I can't prolong it." I think I was on about 8mg or more a day by the time I was taken off of treatments and had been on it for quite a few months. I had no idea that I was addicted. None! And to think that I could have died from those withdrawals had I not gone to the ER. Now that's scary!

I'm shocked that the virus hasn't returned. My doctor told me that it would, with absolute certainty, because I didn't complete the full course of the treatments and because I supposedly had one of the hardest types of Hep C to treat. I'd have to look-up my records to tell you what geno-type I am/was.

From what I understand, people react differently to treatments. Just like we all have different chemistries for the benzos, narcotic pain relievers, and the abundance of other medications out there, this is no different. I've heard of people who just felt a "little under the weather" and then others whose bodies reacted like mine and could barely function.

Would I do it again? Well, knowing what I went through before, no. I vowed I would never do those treatments again unless it was an absolute cure. But guess what??? There's now maintenance therapy for fellow heppers.

A friend of mine went through treatments 3 times. He just had his 3rd liver biopsy and his doctor is putting him on maintenance therapy to keep the virus from progressively damaging the liver. I guess it's supposed to be smaller amounts of the Peg-Intron. Not quite sure of how often, how much, or how long he has to do this for, but he was never as badly affected like I was, so he'll do well with it.

Now, if I could get rid of the anaphylactic episodes, the IBS, the gastro problems, and the rheumatoid, I'd be a real happy camper! The rheumatoid arthritis is finally being addressed, but the meds are not as quickly as effective as I would anticipate.

Sorry this was so long and drawn out, but I really needed to get it all out. I'm off work from my midnight shift and the house is empty. You've probably already guessed that I've gotten my second wind and needed to get all of this off my chest before I lay my head down for my midday nap. Then the household returns to its chaotic state when children and hubby arrive and off to work I go again. What a drag, man! LOL...the work part, that is.

Thanks for all of your wonderful sentiments. They sure do mean an awful lot to me. I sure hope that I'm able to help others feel good, cheer them up, or lend an ear, as you all have so graciously done for me. Once again, I am humbled.

Booker, I'm thinking of you girlie! Will try to get that PM out to you in a hot minute.

Oh, and as for the scent of lemongrass...aaahhhh! It's one refreshing aroma and I love it.

See you all!

lemongrass