jshnyda
Member
Reged: 05/06/02
Posts: 174
Loc: Home of #14
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Hello all. My 21 year old girlfriend's little brother died in a car accident in june of this year. Since then she has had anxiety, panic attacks and what I consider depression, but I am not sure. She has always had anxiety, shaking, trembling and fear of crowded places. Before the accident her doctor put her on Paxil CR, but it did not help. After the accident the entire family was given xanax prescriptions to help with the situation. She quit taking the paxil before the accident, and I occasionaly would give her a .5 mg of xanax when she needed it. Since the accident and now with the holidays upon us, her anxiety is terrible. She goes to school full time, works 30 hours a week and has decided to take off school for the next term to get her life back in order. Her doctor will not prescribe xanax because she is only 21......I am 29. I give her xanax when she needs it. I too have panic disorder. I am very scared to keep giving it to her. I do not want to get her hooked on benzos, but it is getting worse and she keeps asking for more. She is a very smart, hard working, beutifull girl who hates drugs, and I care for her so much I am scared to keep giving her these pills. I am trying to convince her to see her doctor but she won't. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!! I know how it feels to have anxiety and when she starts crying because she has a panic attack I give her what helps her. I think she needs to be put on another sort of SSRI. Any suggestions would be great. If not, thanks for listening and God bless............Jeff.
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"treat others as you wish to be treated"
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HANN
Stranger
Reged: 11/20/03
Posts: 6
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sorry to hear about the really tough times you and your girlfrien are facing , i hope that all works out for you.
in my mind if the meds help her through this for the time being then she should take them ,thats what they are for and it sounds like it was helping her cope with this trajady......best wishes to you and your girlfriend.........HANN
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Julz
Enthusiast
Reged: 11/17/03
Posts: 223
Loc: NJ Shore
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jshnyda~
I am so sorry! My sympathies to you & your girl for this tragic loss! I lost a loved one when I was your gf's age, & although there is a mourning period, I just hope, for her sake, she does not drown herself in self-medicating-that is what I did. I chose a very dangerous & stupid path after that loss; I partied for years, and now, looking back, all I see is wasted, wasted time.
If I were you, as much as this will hurt, you may have to start some "tough love" on her and stop giving her Xanax. Besides being extremely addictive, she is not getting the help she needs. I understand that she doesn't want to see her own Dr., but if you stop giving her your meds, she may change her mind. (Especially since you said she's had panic attacks prior.)
Another thing I would like to suggest is God. I won't get into religion, I am not a preacher by any means, but perhaps getting her to church and/or to speak to your pastor or priest, (if you both have faith), may help a great deal. I know that after losing the love of my life in 1984, I was extremely pissed at God for many many years, only to finally realize that it was not HIS fault, and that HE was there to comfort me all along- if I had only reached out.
Again, I am truly sorry to hear this situation with your gf. I will keep you both in my prayers~
Peace,
Julz
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Love never fails. 1Cor 13:8
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Sky_Queen
Fly Girl
Reged: 12/03/02
Posts: 1967
Loc: Texas
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I'm afraid I have to agree with Julz - she needs professional help and get on the right medication - that can take a lot of work and time to find just the right med - but she needs something. Surely, the Xanax is not hurting her - but without that she might re-consider going back to the doctor. I'll keep you both in my prayers and hope it all works out - the holidays can be such a rough time for people who have lost loved ones. 
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summer
Veteran
Reged: 05/21/02
Posts: 563
Loc: East Coast
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What a horrible tragedy this loss is, I lost my Mother 2 years ago and am still so far from over it.
I definately agree with the top 2 posters. She needs to seek professional help. Grief therapy is wonderful and a good psychiatrist can evaluate her condition and prescribe the medication she needs to begin to heal. Grief from a death is definately I believe the worst thing that we as people go through. She's VERY lucky to have such a great guy like you standing by her side.
I wish her, her family and you peace and strength
Summer
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surfer1
Journeyman
Reged: 06/22/02
Posts: 99
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well i hope this helps....im not a doctor but i have lots of experience with benzos.....xanax i use 2 mg at bedtime to sleep...ive never used during the day cuz it is very short acting....for all day relief i would choose either 12 mg of bromazepam which is very mild...no high experience but it calms down the nervous system....or u cud use ativan...it lasts a long time but i think its more addictive than bromazepam because u will notice a drug high from it and shakes after....just my 2 cents worth ....i will use bromazepam when i decide to stop the xanax...hope this helps...order rolab bromazepam from access meds after the holiday and for rite now wherever u can find it ...farmakos is pretty good.
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drewsmerdel
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/14/01
Posts: 1137
Loc: Nap Town
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Xanax depresses the CNS and is not advised if someone is suffering from depression. Xanax and all other Benzos carry this warning. Benzos can also cause depression if taken too long, or in excess. Yes I know docs will perscibe Xanax when someone is depressed, and maybe even a SSRI, but thats really a bad mix. A doc worth a spit will guide you away from things that depress the CNS if they think you are depressed or have suicidal tendencys, along with Benzos, alchohol, and narcotics should be avoided when trying to treat depression.
Drew
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Are you hungry?
Are you sick?
Are you begging for a break?
Are you sweet?
Are you fresh?
Are you strung up by the wrists?
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Fiver
Member
Reged: 10/02/03
Posts: 104
Loc: Michigan
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Quote:
well i hope this helps....im not a doctor but i have lots of experience with benzos.....xanax i use 2 mg at bedtime to sleep...[...]
For someone who has no tolerance to benzodiazepines, 2mgs is probably overkill. The starting dose of Xanax for a benzo-naive patient is .25 to .5 mgs. I'd start with the lowest dose -- she can always titrate up if necessary.
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sheenafur
Enthusiast
Reged: 04/25/03
Posts: 225
Loc: California
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I have to agree with Summer. Your g/f (and her family) really need grief counseling. I'm very resistant myself when it comes to that kind of thing, but if you can get her there once, maybe she'll stick with it. Or maybe you can talk one of her family members into going with her. In my experience, Benzos help with anxiety, but they dull your senses and can make you feel kind of robotic, which is the opposite of what she needs--what she needs is to let it out, not stuff it in.
I feel so bad for her. It's bad enough when you lose someone older, but when you lose a young loved one, well...there's no words. I wish you all the best.
Sheena
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Go easy, step lightly, stay free--J. Strummer
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yawkaw3
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 03/22/03
Posts: 1193
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She needs therapy. This happened six months ago, and she needs to talk to a professional. The professional will make the evaluation as to what meds she needs to be on. Paxil is clearly the wrong med, there are many others.
Maybe the doc will give her some Xanax of her own and an SSRI.
Be a good boyfriend and find the numbers of a few mental health professionals for her. A couple psychiatrists and a coule psychologists is a good idea. Tell her that you want to see her get better and that the Xanax is only delaying the pain. Schedule the appointments for her if she is not able to do it herself. Tell her she needs to go and talk, that more and more Xanax will solve nothing. Tell her that help is available, and you will do everything you can to ease this dark period of her life, but that you are not a psychologist/psychiatrist and that she really needs to be under their care if she is to get better.
Xanax is ok if taken as directed. If it hits psychologically fertile ground, you do not want to create a bigger problem than she had before. It is very noble of you to be reaching out for help.
Good luck, and I am very sorry to hear about this unfortunate loss.
-yawkaw
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tray1
Enthusiast
Reged: 11/22/03
Posts: 241
Loc: US
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Jeff,
Unfortunately I do not have any advice to give you, I do, however commend you for being so supportive. My heart goes out to you and your girlfriend. My prayers will include her and her family. I almost lost my little brother in a car accident a couple of years ago, I got the call at about 2am that he had been life flighted and the ride to Boston that night seemed like the longest ride in my life. I can not even imagine how she is feeling and will not even try to because I know I could not. I agree with the other posts about masking her emotions and definately agree that therapy is important. And most of all she will need you to continue to be so supportive. God Bless You
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junebug101
Journeyman
Reged: 03/27/03
Posts: 69
Loc: NY
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Jeff, so sorry for your situation. I too have panic disorder and anxiety.
Has her doctor tried anything besides Paxil? Not all SSRI's effect everyone the same way. Maybe Effexor, or Zoloft? She definitely needs professional help; I would shy away from self medicating her. If she needs the xanax then she needs it, but that's not a long term solution.
You're in my prayers!
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Kid Free and Loving It!
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Corrie
Board Addict
Reged: 07/16/02
Posts: 364
Loc: Southeast US
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I agree with Julz, and those who have suggested alternate therapies, not benzos.
But there is also the fact that she might suffer withdrawal symptoms from taking the Xanax (maybe not, but I did and I only took the Xanax for a couple of months). If she is suffering physical effects when not taking the Xanax, she should see someone who can successfully taper her down with a longer acting benzo, such as Klonopin or Diazepam (Valium). And SLOW is the key.
I would really advise against using benzo's if at all possible, as the others are right - they can and do cause depression, in my case at least. I'm speaking from my own perspective and from those I've read about. I've also lost people close to me recently and my doctor put me on an anti-depressant and Xanax to be taken 3x daily, and there is no way I'm going to do it (as well as several other meds that are at odds with one another). Sometimes I just don't understand doctors. If they don't know what they should do, please refer to someone who does. Please offer my condolences to her family.
Corrie
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