KBlues
Member
Reged: 11/14/02
Posts: 105
Loc: East Coast
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I went to see a new pain doc this morning. He seemed very friendly, and looked over my records and asked me a lot of questions and really seemed to care. After a short physical exam, he sat down and started writing on a paper in my medical records file. Since they are MY records, I asked him what he was writing. He said "I am writing that I think you are too pretty and too young to be in this much pain. Are you sure you are really feeling this much pain?"
WWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTT> No, I just come to hundreds of Drs appointments for no reason, just because I want to get out of the house. I started yelling at him "How dare you! How can you say that," so on and so on. I told him I wanted all my records now and that I was reporting him to the state medical board. He replied, "Well Miss, there is no reason to get hysterical." Hysterical? I have had it with Drs and I have had it with the media doing "news" stories on medication, and I have had it with people who don't understand what it is like to live this way! Live my life for one day. Just one! You'll see what I mean. How I can't get out of bed in the morning. How I can't sleep at night, and how humiliated I feel when I see a Dr. And how I still can't work. I tried, I really did, but had to quit after three weeks because they couldn't (or wouldn't) understand why I groan and whine when I had to get up. See how any of us on DB live just for one day. Ask me how much it hurt me when my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me a few months after the accident because he said he couldn't deal with it. Well, you know what? Niether can I! Why can't anyone understand that just putting on my shoes almost kills me and I have to wait a few minutes before getting up because the pain is so bad from bending down.
I am sorry for ranting so much. I have just had it with everything and everyone!
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Snowmoon
Journeyman
Reged: 07/04/02
Posts: 89
Loc: Michigan
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Dear KBlues - oh my God, what an incredible @$$hole that so-called doctor is! I'm so very sorry you had to go through that and I'm deeply sad for the pain and sorrow you deal with each day. I wish you luck in finding a caring doctor and I will pray that you find relief. Don't give up!
Robin
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gotta love it
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quincy
Board Addict
Reged: 11/07/02
Posts: 333
Loc: pacific northwest
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I think that what he said could be considered sexual harassment. No doctor should ever comment on your attractiveness, that is inappropriate.
Sarah
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537
Threadhead
Reged: 12/08/01
Posts: 766
Loc: west coast CA
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I know exactly how you feel.  When I went to see my PM doctor for the first time, he started commenting on my "long, beautiful auburn hair," how it was in his way of checking my back. Then he proceded to tell me he th0ught married woman should cut all their hair off so people would know that they are married and not available. Then he went on to state that married mothers of three should not be wearing heeled sandals or shorts like I was wearing. The whole thing was very uncomfortable. He actually made comments on his recorder that "patient sstates she drinks six pack a day and swallow 3-4 pills at a time". Then corrected it by stating the truth, but there it was on the record that a transcriber might actually put that in my chart. What a wacko. When I ended up having a panic attack (due to an allergic reaction to Reglan) right before my second set of epidural injections, he was called in and tried to talk me out of leaving. When I said, no I'm going home, he looked at me and said "whatever." Then walked away and never bothered to check on me again.
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JOJOM
Banned for off topic discussions, confronting mods in public, and being unpolite to members and mods
Reged: 08/16/03
Posts: 358
Loc: Yankee
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KBLUES,
I feel so bad for you, I had the same drama with a Dr. I recently saw, YADA YADA YADA, these are bad for you Best if kept off the board! That Dr. is a PIG and should be reported immediately. I had a Dr. come on to me once to, I was so mortified I could have died, he was feeling my breast in a manner that is inappropriate, I know what they are supposed to do and he was not touchy me the way he should have, after 5min. I said are you done yet, he looked at me and smiled, like I wanted it or something. I am also praying for you and for all of us, Doctors are not god and they should not become Dr.'s if they do not have compassion for there patients.
As far as your boyfrined goes, I know it must hurt but if he loved you enough he would have stuck it out eventhough it is hard for a loved one to deal with. If it was not this it would have been something else, unconditional love is what we all need. He would have let you go because you gained a few pounds too! You are better than him and the Dr. and you deserve more in this life.
Keep your head up and You will survive, you will found a way.
God will never give you anything you cannot handle, remember that!
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Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief she is beautiful.
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seekjah
Member
Reged: 12/26/01
Posts: 196
Loc: USA
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After reading the above posts, I had so many simultaneous reactions / emotions that I do not even know where to begin.
Anger, outrage, sadness, shock... just to mention a few.
I am truly sorry that the above posters had to endure these Doc - Patient encounters. From everything I read, I agree that sexual harassment, discrimination, and unbelievable lack of professionalism has occurred. My only question is whether or not a female nurse or assistant was in the room with you and the physicians, during these exams.
I'm not 100% sure if every State requires this, but I am 100% certain that what occurred here was absolutely unprofessional, unethical, and downright inexcusable. I wish you all the best, and I hope that everything gets resolved to your satisfaction.
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Folksong
Member
Reged: 07/11/03
Posts: 128
Loc: Texas
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Girls,
I have been thru it all, the inapproriate breast exam, the dr. actually asking me out, and a dr. telling me that I looked "too attractive" to have anything seriously wrong with me.
I fired them all. I understand how you all feel. Believe me.
I finally found a nice PCP, who was sorta a fatherly type, but after 4 years of seeing him, he was sent to Iraq, and is still there. so I am back to square one. Sucks.
I too wish they could live in our bodies, for just a week. They would all be on Morphine drips....
Folksong
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shine
Banned for being unpolite
Reged: 03/16/03
Posts: 128
Loc: California USA
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That is harrasment, tha vile Pig, I'm with you ..I feel for you so much and hate Dr,s they are all the same...I have tried to go with out meds for the same reasons, but heck it is a whole lot of pain...I'm waiting on a refill, but I have cut way back in use for now, but I can not move in the morning either, no one can feel any one elses pain unless they walk in those dang tough shoes..my heart is out to ya...I know it is to hard to just live in constant pain, what is the point if you cant move...Report that Dr. for sexual harrasment...seriously, what an ill comment to young and pretty to be in pain, what a di*k......go after him....I will keep you in my thught and hope and pray you find your relief and get that Dr..My Chirophractor says it is not the age it is the miles, so when a dr"s tries to give me that you are to young for all these issues, I tell him to go screw himself and go learn how to treat your patients....they are just people not gods.....they do not know what we are feeling and frankly do not seem to care...we just want to spend all the money popping pills, and going to physical therepy for 2 differant things, and not being able to work half the time..I train horses and it is tough on the Body and I'm not as young as you are it sounds... but I'm not sixty, when are you old enough to feel pain..90...This stuff really get to me...take care and we are with ya...
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buey
Old Hand
Reged: 01/15/03
Posts: 453
Loc: USA
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This happened yrs ago but still burns me up when I think about it. During my first gyn checkup after I found out I was pregnant, I was having my pelvic exam. I groaned and said "ugh, hate this stuff" He looks up, looks at me and says "Oh, c'mon, all you women love this"
Joke or not, I did not think it was funny in the least. I was so mortified I specifically asked not to be scheduled with that particular doc in the practice ever again. And he did not even have a nurse in the room with us, which is required. I should have questioned it, but did not.
the doctor in question in this thread, IS a vile pig. I am sorry anyone has to go through this garbage.
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Skylark
Member
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 114
Loc: California
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That just burns me....I swear I will never understand some physicians!!!
My last Psych (the one I FIRED for being such a jerk)...told me "Well, if you told the nurse how pretty you were I would have seen ya right away!!!"!!!! I was like, WHAT???? He goes on to tell my boyfriend who was with me, and on the verge of choking him, how much he likes blondes...
Ugh....
KBlues - that Doc IS a pig!! I am so sorry you had to go through that!!!
Hugs,
Skylark
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"....-E. Roosevelt
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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KBlues I know it has been said but I couldn't let it go without say that I am so sorry for the cards you have been dealt. Or all of us for that matter but it only makes us stronger people! I will pray you find a dr that cares because contrary to popular belief there are still some out there. If I could take it all away I would! I really hope things get better for you! It kills me to hear stories and expressions like yours. It makes me feel like my little back problem is nothing! Do whatever it takes to stay PAIN FREE!!
Sincerely... Train 
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KBlues
Member
Reged: 11/14/02
Posts: 105
Loc: East Coast
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Thank you all so much for your support! I really appreciate it. I have been on my couch for the past few days. I haven't checked the board, my e-mail, nothing. This little "episode" had me so upset, it just brought back a lot of pain of how my life used to be. You know, being able to jump out of bed and go on long walks with the dogs, live a normal life, and not have to rely on pills and counting refill dates and so on. When I used to be independent and an active member of society. Now I just feel like I am here taking up space, if you know what I mean. I can't work. I can hardly walk, and my friends ae slowly leaving me because I am no fun anymore. I can really go out at night, I am not interested in going to bars and I am just not interested in doing anything. Don't get me wrong, I am not suicidal or anything, but I just want this all to go away. I want to be me again, but I don't see that happening anytime in the near future. Isn't it funny how my close friends can't understand this, but you guys here, total strangers to me, have been more kind and understanding than anyone else I know?
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Box_of_Rain
Banned=more than one account
Reged: 09/28/03
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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KBlues, I totally hear you on this. It's really hard to talk about so I have to give you a huge pat on the back for even doing just that. Have to also give you a cyber {{{{hug}}}}} as well. No advice because I am in the same boat, however maybe you can take comfort in that you are not alone. 
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Sky_Queen
Fly Girl
Reged: 12/03/02
Posts: 1962
Loc: Texas
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from me too. It's hard to accept how life changes when you live with chronic pain. I've finally let go of my "demons" and accepted the fact I will most likely never feel that way again and am just thankful I am able to treat my pain through an OP. I just try to appreciate every little detail these days - things I used to just take for granted. Hang in there!
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Folksong
Member
Reged: 07/11/03
Posts: 128
Loc: Texas
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When people use the old cliche'"at least you've got your health", they don't understand that it is so true. We understand how you feel because we feel the same way. when you lose your health, it is devastating. It touches every aspect of your life. It has taken me so long to accept my limitations. I added to my own misery for years by trying to do things that I had always taken for granted. I tried to ski, and hurt my knees and back, I tried to play softball, etc. At some point I herniated two discs in my back and hyperextended both my knees along the way. We all suffer the same feelings of despair that you describe. Personally, if I have a "good" day, I overdo, trying to catch up on things that I've let go, and always end up in awful pain for a week afterwards. Sometimes I feel so useless I can barely stand it. and sometimes I think if I have to slap on a happy face and pretend everything's fine for friends and family, I'll just scream. this board is the only place I feel comfortable expressing these thoughts. I keep them hidden in a dark place along with the memories of what used to be. Yes, I do understand...
F.
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KBlues
Member
Reged: 11/14/02
Posts: 105
Loc: East Coast
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I LOVE you guys and gals on this board!
When I woke up this morning, in horrible pain of course, I just thought, "This can't be my life. When is someone going to get me out of this?" It's like I am living a dream, a nightmare really, and just can't wake up. I want to travel. I want to ski again. I want, want, want, but I can't, can't, can't. And I know ALL of you know what I am going through. Yes I am depressed, but I'll get over it soon. I keep thinking how bad it COULD have been, you know? I could have been confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life, or I could have died. Sometimes, I think maybe I should have died, because this isn't living. This is wasting time. I am only 26, but feel like I am 90. Again, I am not suicidal, but sometimes you just can't help wondering. I'm sorry for dumping on all of you lately, but I have just been down in the dumps lately.
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MWouk
Journeyman
Reged: 08/28/03
Posts: 82
Loc: Up & Down I - 95
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Kblues, that remark was designed to disarm you.
You were supposed to forget your pain because you were so flattered that the doctor thought you were pretty.
Then he would observe that it took only a little compliment, a moment of distraction from your pain to relieve it, and you would have been on your way with a little pat and a few more "sweet" words and maybe a prescription for antidepressants.
And of course, a bill, and a follow-up appointment to see him again in a month!!!!!!!!!!
I am so glad you spoke your mind and I hope you scared the living daylights out of him!!!!!
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MWouk
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