Doing some serious wrangling and thinking with the husband...loves me and understands, but doesn't want me suddenly to go...was actually pretty crushing.....didn't sleep last night which is not new, but gee I did a LOT of thinking.

I want to go.
Cannot come up with concrete place right now...give me (I know this is pushing it...rest of today and some of tomorrow. I should have known when...never mind, it is just hard on a lot of levels right now.

I love my husband but he lives in 'de Nile river' and can be the biggest alligator in it when one tries to coax him out. Just starts snapping over and over until you leave him alone. I am hurt because I saw how ashamed he really is...there are many levels, again, that I am hurt on.

I am making this post because I think other people here might not have responded because of these pressures and more...not letting their parish know, worry about their child's reception at school...

I need to do this. You all need to do this. If one cannot attend, then maybe we can fax our support to the right place, or send e-mail from an anonymous surfing address.

It's kind of a shocker to see your family squirm. But I will get thru it, and so will everyone else here. The question is,

How can we all be effective without TOO MUCH risk to our home situations.

There is risk everytime one leaves the house. There is risk every time we order these days. There is the greatest risk in doing nothing at all.

So...I'd like to be the first in saying...I hate the reaction I get when I find it necessary to tell anyone I have CP.

But I am going to have to get used to it.