Toe really feel for you for the position your in. I don't know if my experience or advise is going to be very encouraging for you. Applied for ssdi in 1999 (Disc degenerative disease, ankylosing spondalytis.) Declined first time. Went to see a lawyer specializing in ss claims. He said he wouldn't open a file (start billing me) but would help me with the paperwork for my reconsideration which was then denied. He then opened a fill for me for my ALJ hearing. Awarded benefits by ALJ with an apology from her for the length of tine for approval, 42 months. Not very encouraging but if you stick to it you will likely get your claim.
The most important advice I can give you is once you get your claim (if they haven't starved you out) is to be on the social security administration every day until you get your first check. The are the worst agency I have ever delt with as far as errors and misstatements on the phone and in official correspondence. I is a got idea to get to know someone at your local ss office to help you sort out the debris you will encounter with them. Good luck and stick through it. Remember you get back pay from the day that you file.