Kimbel,

Well, I can kind of relate with your friend as far as her inaction goes. Not that I can relate to losing a parent, I never want to know what that is like, and hope that I won't have to deal with that for a very long time. But I can relate with her about her reluctance to fight to get her job back and drag my former company into court after the way I was treated by them before I got the hint that I was no longer welcome in the company after working there for almost 8 years.

Everyone has been encouraging me to sue my former employers for not holding my job position while I was out on Worker's Compensation and then trying to relocate me to another location of their centers that is at least a 45 minute to an hour drive away from where I live (when the location I was working at was walking distance from me) once I was discharged from PT and sent back to work.

I also think that they were "looking for a reason" to give me the ax because I refused to work off the clock for them while I was still on Worker's Comp, but that's an entirely different story/situation.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that most of my friends and family are frustrated with me for not dragging their rear ends into court over how I was treated. I honestly think that the only reason that I haven't at this point is that I was taking it as a sign to leave the field altogether, since it was a very emotionally stressful occupation, and I was constantly taking work home with me for next to nothing as far as my salary went.

Not that I regret one day that I spent working with children, those memories are ones that I will cherish until the day I die, but between the administration, the owners of the company and the way that the state of education in this country is headed in general, I just thought that it was time for me to move on and try something else.

But your friend does deserve to fight for her rights, and even though it's exhausting to try to talk someone into doing something that they might be reluctant to do, perhaps putting up a fight for her job is what she might need to do in order to make peace with her depression over losing her mother. I never want to know what it is like to go through losing my mother, and she has my deepest sympathies for what she is going through.

The fact that she sought MH treatment for her depression for it is something to be applauded for, not punished, and it seems very cold and rotten of your company to kick someone when they're down. I know that fighting for her rights isn't going to bring her mother back, and I'm also sure that she's aware of it, but maybe if you used the approach "Do you think this is what your mom would want you do?" as far as taking things lying down is concerned, that might just motivate her enough to take some action. Maybe if she uses the approach that she's doing it in her mother's honor and memory, it might just work.

Just a suggestion, and by the way, you are an amazing friend to this woman for going to bat for her!! There might be a lot of heartless people out there in the world, but you're not one of them, because you obviously care enough about her to try to get her to stand up for herself.

Take care & Good luck!!

Eeyore