Quincy: "She takes compounded straight hydrocodone pills, 90mgs at at time. And she sees and addiction specialist to get them. She of all people should know what its like. I try not to think of the fact that she is probably blaming me to get some of the heat deflected off of her."

Quincy: I have been reading many of your recent posts in total dismay. First of all, it kills me to even HEAR about someone threatening to take your kids away from you. I have a 1 year old and I am now on total detox because I was getting those "strange" stares when I was on narcotics and my paranoia set in and made me believe that they were planning to take me child away...so I decided to live with the pain for awhile. Of course, I do NOT have anything as serious as your condition, but I do have chronic pain so it inhibits my life in many ways. But I am willing to live with it for now and everyone seems completely happy. I hurt, but actually I'm happy too. Secondly, I can totally relate to people trying to "deflect" their issues onto you...your horrible circumstance is that it is your OWN mother doing it! But I have been thinking of "deflection" lately and when I read your post, it hit a cord with me. My husband used to actually do it to me and it almost caused a divorce...but thankfully things have changed now. Deflection is very, very common...whether it be deflection from alchohol use, med use, etc...it's there and it's a frequent occurence. I'm very sorry to here all you are going for...all I can say is look at your children, find your strength in them, and just remember "this too shall pass". I know it sounds "cheesy", but it's so true! It WILL pass and you HAVE THE RIGHT to feel NORMAL some of the time. As long as it is not harming you children, it could POSSIBLY be helping them by bringing their mommy back to them, whithout all the pain. Sorry, I think I ranted too, but I want to say that I will be praying for you sweetie and I really feel that everything will be fine. Mel