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You know something? You’re right!!! We sue McDonalds for being fat and the tobacco industry because we choose to smoke. I think in the sense of fairness to all, EVERYONE should be sued for the things we do. We could revolutionize the health care system. We can still pay outrageous health insurance premiums, but the insurance companies won’t have to pay out any claims (which will make them even fatter and happier). We could all become “politically healthy.”

For example, I happen to enjoy butter, milk and cheese. Almost ten years ago, I had to have my gallbladder removed, and, in my PHI (political health ignorance), I fully expected my health insurance company to pay the bill (which those silly people did). Now I realize that that evil dairy industry was really responsible.

I also enjoy red meat occasionally. I guess the beef industry needs to cough up some bread for my high cholesterol level. The teeth aren’t in very good shape, either, with all that decay from sugar. I need to raise some cane with that industry. In an effort to cut my sugar intake, I did try that NutraSweet stuff, but it gave me headaches. All things being Equal, they should buy me a case of Excedrin. Of course, if all that Excedrin causes an ulcer, they can expect a bill for my Tagamet and Prilosec.

Now, alcohol is a different story. I’m unclear who should be responsible if my liver dies. It’s either the maker of the alcohol, the state which licenses its consumption or the establishment which serves me. We’ll have to divide that bill by three.

I also may not exercise as often as I should. After all, my couch is so comfortable, I just can’t seem to leave it. If I’m a couch potato, who’s responsible: the potato industry or the manufacturer of the couch? I can probably found out who made the couch because somewhere in there is that tag that I’m prohibited by federal law from removing.

To be honest, all this “political health” rhetoric is making me a little sick to my stomach. Who’s going to pay for my Pepto-Bismol??????

[NOTE: THE PRECEDING GIBBERISH WAS OFFERED TONGUE IN CHEEK AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.]

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!