I was reading through this thread the other day, when I had just registered my user name so I could post about what BAD experiences I had had with Medscorp (an international OLP) and, hopefully, save others from same. I hope you are doing better, Cotybear. Best wishes. I do NOT think needing hydo makes you anything - "an addict" for instance. (Because there are so many negative characteristics attached to the word "addict" - it really is not a very useful thing to describe anyone). But I can tell you are very unhappy and need a lot of support, and bolstering up of your ego - PLEASE - try to get that from yourself (tell yourself all the GOOD things you are for a change) or from GOOD people. There is never any excuse for someone in a live-together relationship to bash the other person. Yes, sometimes people can work this through - if they are both very strong. YOU do not sound too strong, right now, and I don't think your husband is either. So I think you need to be AWAY from him until you FEEL that sort of strength - to deal with him from a position of strength not weakness. Remember this - "If you hit me once, YOU are a bully. If you do it twice, I am a fool." Do NOT be a fool.

Just one other thing, I think it is NOT true that "people who are addicted to drugs can only have a relationship with the drug, can't love or care for anyone" - I know that is a common perception - but I think most of it comes from the fact that most drugs are very illegal, expensive, and hard-to-find. (You do NOT usually hear this said of alcoholics because alcohol is relatively cheap, legal, easy to get) Drug users have to spend so much time and energy chasing their drugs - however they get them - of course they don't have time for other people. But I have seen too many of them - I know they have the same feelings for other people that everyone does. How they would act if the drugs were legal and dirt cheap? Probably we will never find out, but it is something to dream about.

Good luck, Cotybear - if you are any sort of bear, remember how strong and intelligent and loving of its cubs the bear is - Native Americans regard the bear with great reverence - let the bear spirit be your helper, try to be like the bear. Nobody messes with bears!