We can all talk 'til we're blue, but really and truely, it's like an 'addiction', being with an abusive man. YOU have to decide and KNOW you shouldn't be living like this. Everyone told me when I was in an abusive relationship, and sure, I was so motivated and 'strong' while I spoke to my supporters. But I promise, not even an hour after I either talked to a friend, clergy or professional, I would go straight back to the abusive relationship. Thank God, I finally did it, but it wasn't anyone's words, tho they did 'validate me', it was my heart and soul that were so broken I needed to get out to breathe and even LIVE! It does take all you have, but when you know,,,,,you know. It's unfortunate but true, sometimes the truth and the hurt that is with that truth can lead to more than broken hearts and bones, it can also mean the death of one or the other. I pray it's not that extreme for you cotybear, but from your posts so far it seems you are in the early developments of abuse. I hope you can listen to us in some way and you'll know that it's so true, and we hope and pray you won't be too late.