Cotybear,

I agree with yawkaw and Jordan. You need to get out of this relationship.

OK. Here comes the hammer....I don't mean to be harsh or insensitive but I see this kind of thing every single day at my job and it frustrates me to no end.

You are afraid to be alone. You would rather be semi-abused than live by yourself. Why hasn't he called? Because he doesn't give a rat's a$$ how you are doing. He only cares about himself. Victims blame alcohol and drugs for their loves ones' behavior. Substance abuse complicates things but you still have a very selfish human being as the root of the problem. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. Ever. You can't 'save' him. He can't/won't come to your rescue, either.

What is more embarrassing -to be an abused spouse or to be alone? Unfortunately, most victims choose the latter. They would rather live with an abuser than be alone. Financial matters and children are given as excuses. Substance abuse is another favorite excuse. Some just flat out tell me they don't want to be alone. I always ask them what it is going to take to make them leave. I get the 'deer in the headlights' stare. A lot of victims cry and and say "Why can't he be like he used to be?" No relationship stays as magical as it was when you first met and fell in love. You yearn for those warm and wonderful days but they are over. The only time you will ever get a taste of that again is if he is arrested for Domestic Assault and worried about prosecution. He will romance you better than ever to have the case dismissed. After that, he will abuse you again. Many women just live for that 'honeymoon' phase.

His violence and betrayal when the police came to visit should be your wakeup call. I don't think it is, though. You are still waiting for HIS call.

Why?