good news! my seized package got reshipped at no extra cost to me! it was such a surprise! i had e-mailed my "iop" to tell him that i got the love letter and not to worry about it, it was the risk that i, myself, chose to take, it wasn't his fault and i just wanted to make him aware of the seizure. he reshipped with a TON of extras. i could just KISS him!

i spent the day feeling like crawling out of my skin. confused, forgetful, and anxious. obviously, my adhd didn't help (dexedrine didn't help either, i never took the rest of my daily doses!) especially as i must have seemed twice as hyperactive than usual. i do not take very well to benzos, they make me feel bad. i now have a new and greater respect for people who suffer from anxiety. i mean, i've always had sympathy for people with GAD and etc. but until you've walked in their shoes..... that was worse than "7-8" rated pain! now i am triply enraged with so called "doctors" who fail to treat anxiety properly and effectively! my very best wishes to all who suffer from anxiety disorders.

here is exactly what happened to me last night, as best as i can remember. (i saw my original post and am appalled. i give all who responded credit for actually understanding it. thinking about editing.) i had a "10" migraine. i got sick once, but since i didn't eat anything, after that i was only nauseous. demerol, which i haven't been given in years, has been the only thing that got rid of my migraine 100% of the time. morphine usually does, but last time it didn't. it lessened it but i had to take pain meds the next 2 days to alliviate it.

because of all the physical problems i have had over the past month, which, in turn, caused me more migraines than usual, plus my seized order, i had run out of meds. remembering that the morphine didn't "cure" me last time, and that i was completely dry, i asked them for demerol. they said it was an "evil" drug and was only given in the direst of circumstances. but since you "don't want morphine" "we are going to give you reglan". i've never heard of it but they told me it would cure not only my nausea but the migraine itself. they never mentioned adverse effects or anything. i was so desparate i would have accepted euthanasia! I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON!

you can see what the reglan did to me in my first post, so i do not have to explain it again.

though the benadryl they gave me (seemed like hours!!!) was the "antidote" i was still shaky and hurting. after they i.v.ed me the morphine i was calm enough and my migraine had subsided enough to actually go to sleep. i wanted to escape out of that hospital like my life depended on it! i never, ever want to go to a hospital or see a doctor again for any reason!!!!!!

i woke up this morning, my migraine was gone (thank god!!!!!) but i felt very weird. i couldn't figure it out at first. seems like the morphine and the benadryl wore off before the reglan did. perhaps i'm allergic, i don't know, but i don't want anyone else to chance experiencing that horrible, horrible experience unless that particular drug is absolutely necessary for the condition FOR WHICH IT WAS CREATED or as an absolute last resort! trust me, it was not intended to get rid of a severe migraine like that sob doctor had implied.

sooooo, i gave it some thought tonight, as terrible as i was feeling i did remember that the morphine helped to alleviate the bad effects of the reglan. i figured that if i took a couple of codeine pills, just enough to get rid of the shakes, i'd feel better. i hate taking them for that, and from now on i promise that i will only take them for pain (btw, i am still in pain, but the anxiety trumps that big time!). it helped a LOT, which is why i am able to write this post, but i hate to take codeine for anything other than pain. i feel like i am being dishonest or breaking some kind of rule. "codeine only for pain. codeine only for pain."

my deepest gratitude to everyone who was able to respond. i will reply back in a separate post as my posts are usually so long-winded, as this one is, that i am afraid of scaring people off from reading it.

my love to all of you, angel

p.s. i will try to answer all of my pms tomorrow if i feel better. you (members of this board) are the best, bar none!