When I saw your post, I gasped! Our stories are shockingly similar, and I, too, haven't yet seen this topic addressed in the forums. I am 33(just had a birthday!) with three small boys: 8 years, 3 years and 10 months. I'm also small like you(5'4 and 100lbs.) Being a small mother of toddlers is like being in a decathalon(RUN, JUMP,HURDLE!) under the best of circumstances, but when one is in constant physical pain it veers close to the impossible the majority of the time. Firstly, let go of the guilt as best you can. No matter what perfect picture you have in your head of the kind of mother you "should" be and what you "should" be able to do for them physically, your children only know what they've learned from you! You are their gold standard of what a mother should be, and as long as they are loved and secure they will florish!!! Qualities like empathy and self sufficiency will come to them much more naturally, and they will learn from watching you how to handle adversity with courage. Secondly, use your resources! If you can afford it at all maybe you can find a pre-school program they can attend together for a few hours each day. If you have a mother or friends who can help, assign them a set day each week to take the kids to McDonalds for lunch and to play in the playplace for an hour. That will get at least one meal out of the way and give you time to rest(a little!). If it's a set day each week you won't have stress of asking. Most of all don't forget about yourself...do things that make you happy(lying in bed because you can't move DOESN'T count). Spend time alone with your husband...I know from personal experience that this particular kind of guilt can eat you alive if you let it, so take deep breath and know you you are doing the BEST you can!!!!